


Seven nights

by Graymalkyn



Series: Little headcanons [3]
Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: Angst, Comedy, Coming Out, Consensual Sex, Dreams, Dreams and Nightmares, Family, Fantasy, Fluff, M/M, Romance, What-If
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-08-09 11:02:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7799206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Graymalkyn/pseuds/Graymalkyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Usagi-san finally has one week off work, which keeps Misaki busy during the day. The only time when he can be on his own is at night, while he sleeps. However, his dreams don't seem to give him a break, and every night Misaki finds himself facing his wishes and fears as well as his memories and fantasies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Saturday Night

“So, what are we doing tomorrow?” Akihiko folded the edge of the sheet back over the duvet and patted Suzuki-san before placing him in the middle of the bed. “Grocery shopping?”

Misaki left the room with the laundry basket under his left arm. _Maaan, this week is sure going to be long._ Now that Usagi-san was on a break, Misaki found himself scrambling for activities to do with him. “We went to the supermarket just this afternoon. There’s no need to go there tomorrow again.”

“But I like going shopping with you. Besides, we didn’t buy everything.” He followed his lover down the stairs. “If you’re going to cook _bœuf bourguignon_ , you need some good wine, like a Bordeaux or a Chianti.”

Misaki snorted. “You know, for someone who can barely make coffee, you're sure good at telling people how to cook." He turned on the lights of the service corridor. "Can’t we use some of the wine in your cellar?”

“I don’t mind, but maybe _you_ would: those are around ¥1,000,000 the bot---”

Misaki’s knees faltered and he had to hold on to the wall. “D-d-don’t even think about it! Okay, I get it. Supermarket it is, then. Ah, I know! Can we go to the Aeon in Chiba?” _A long-ish drive should keep him entertained for some time._ “I could use some new pajamas and underwear.”

“Oh? Heh…”

“Oi, why do you sound so interested, bastard?” As he entered the laundry area, Misaki blushed, feeling grateful that Akihiko had stayed behind to change Suzuki-chan’s ribbon. _It’s only seven days, right? Maybe next weekend we can go to the hot springs in Kamakura. He seemed happy enough to go there with me. Well... Except for that incident. Ah, but it would be a good chance to rewrite that day._

Misaki turned off the lights and walked back to the living room. Usagi-san was already upstairs. It was strange to feel that this had become their everyday life. Even if he sometimes put up a barrier between them, he’d come to accept that there would be nights in which they’d share the bed, and he’d been surprised to discover than even if they slept together, not every night involved having sex. Now that he wasn’t going to his classes every day, and that Usagi-san appeared to have found a relatively normal rhythm for his activities, life seemed… It was…

Well, it felt nice.

Akihiko was already in bed and absorbed in a novel when Misaki slipped under the covers. Both Suzukis had been settled between the two men as usual. “If the light bothers you, I can sleep in the other room,” Usagi-san offered, his eyes barely parting from the page.

“It’s fine. I’m pretty tired today, so I’ll probably fall asleep in a while.” _I’m glad he finds it enjoyable,_ Misaki thought merrily, patting himself on the back for having found that book. He’d sent Mizuki an email asking him for some tips and it had been his first time on his own in the second-hand book district. He’d told himself that it was only so that Usagi-san wouldn’t follow him like a chick all day long, but seeing how riveting Akihiko had found the book was rather rewarding.

With that happy thought floating about, Misaki turned around and closed his eyes.

* * *

*** * ***

“You! Your second button is not done up. Correct that, now!” a harsh voice shook him, and his hand instinctively moved to the collar of his uniform. Who was that man? He obviously looked like a teacher, but he’d never seen him before. He looked around discreetly. Maririn and Mina-chan were there, and Mokkun and that other guy who always spent all his free time in the science lab, as well as… That was...

There was no mistaking: that was Takahiro’s back.

“Niichan!” Misaki stood up and was struck down by the same teacher that had shouted at him before.

“This is an exam, Takahashi-kun! Know your place!”

“I’m sorry…” Misaki murmured, confused. Why was he in the same class as Takahiro? This was a dream, right? Why, why did he have to dream about school, then? And besides, this was an exam. He _really_ couldn't catch a break, could he? He lowered his head and tried to focus on the writing, but the characters kept shifting. Japanese switched to English, and Misaki could no longer understand---

“Heh.”

He raised his eyes. A muffled laughter that made his cheeks burn with embarrassment. Where had it come from? If he looked up, the teacher would surely scold him again.

_“Baaaka…”_

Misaki shuddered as he finally located the source of the voice. Two seats ahead of him, to his left, there was a slender boy with ash blonde hair and mischievous purple eyes. Misaki gritted his teeth. What was with the smug attitude? The boy was now sticking out his tongue, making Misaki’s eyebrows twitch. So the teacher wasn’t going to tell him off? He slammed the desk with his open hands. “Sensei!” he called out, standing up.

But the teacher was gone, and so were most of the students. Only Takahiro and the blonde boy remained behind, engaged in conversation. Misaki tried to call his brother’s name, but his voice wouldn’t come out. He could only watch them from a distance. As he was doing so, the purple-eyed boy glanced in his direction, and Misaki’s heart skipped a beat.

“U… Usagi-san?”

“Hmph,” Akihiko scoffed, as he took Takahiro by the hand and led him out of the classroom.

“Wait!” he shouted. “Don’t leave me behind!” The ground felt unstable and the corridor had no end. His brother and Usagi-san… How had they ended up in his school?

He walked down familiar streets, buying things in convenience stores to keep himself warm. He was barefoot and it was a warm afternoon, but as the sun set, a chilly wind ran through his body. Tiredness set in, and all he wanted to do was go back home.

As he opened the door, he found Akihiko’s arms wrapped around Takahiro, who was chuckling. “Oi, stop!” Misaki shouted, aware that he’d seen that image before. “You bastard!” The words came out before he could know what he wanted to say or who they were directed at. His eyes welled up with frustrated tears and he rubbed his face until it started hurting. _This pain... My skin hurts... Or is it my heart?_  "Why are you ignoring me?”

“What are you talking about, Misaki?” Takahiro tilted his head and gave Akihiko a concerned look. “Have you two been fighting?”

“We never do. I know I can be hard on him, but it's for his sake. His grades have been improving, so I thought everything was fine?” Usagi seemed confused. “What’s wrong, Misaki-kun? If I did something to offend you---”

Takahiro’s hand rested on Akihiko’s arm. “I don’t think so, dear. You’re always nice to everyone.”

Dear?

_Dear?_

Misaki’s stomach churned. His brother and Usagi-san were holding hands now, watching him as if he was crazy. “You… You two…” He took a step back, away from them.

Takahiro bit his lower lip as he let go of Akihiko. “I see… We’ve talked about it, Misaki. When I told you about it, you said you didn’t object to our relationship, that you held us both dear. If… If my preferences... If having a brother like me is a problem, then…” He hid his face in his hands.

“Don’t say those things!” Usagi-san shouted as he took Takahiro by the shoulders and turned him towards him. “I'll never leave you, Takahiro! I told you that I would protect you! You!” He glared at Misaki. “Do you take pleasure in seeing your brother suffer like this?”

_Niichan, I’m sorry._

Still standing at the door, Misaki discovered that he was rooted to the ground, but he didn’t feel like detaching himself and running away. He couldn’t help but look at them, always from a distance, no matter how hard he tried to get close; the two of them were in their little world, as it had always been. _You said you would protect me. You said that you loved me. Me. Then why?_ His heart felt heavy in his chest. _Why is my brother the one by your side? Why not me?_ He shut his eyes tight.

_I’m sorry._

“Misaki?” Takahiro’s kind face was smiling before him once more. “What are you saying? There’s no need to feel sorry, is there?”

Usagi-san was standing behind his brother, and Misaki’s eyes went from Takahiro’s smile to Akihiko’s eyes. “Because I love him,” Misaki said plainly. “I love Usagi-san.”

Takahiro’s look turned cold, and the hand that crossed Misaki’s face felt like ice.

*** * ***

* * *

Startled, Misaki woke up. Hot chills ran through his body, and his heartbeat was going alarmingly fast. He clung to his pillow, not wanting to move from his position, afraid of letting Usagi-san know what he’d dreamed about. The lights were out now, and he took comfort in the darkness of the room. But somehow, something felt odd. The bed felt empty. “U---Usagi-san?” he called softly. There was no reply. He sat up and glanced over Suzuki-san. Akihiko wasn’t there.

Misaki pinched himself. This wasn’t a dream. But where could he be at this time of the night? He got up and left the room. The lower floor was dark. His study room? He pressed his ear to the door. The soft clicking of the keys could be heard. Misaki closed his eyes and let out a sigh, feeling comforted by that sound. If it wasn’t work, it was his hobby. He could picture the scene: Akihiko’s straight back and engaged look, his long fingers running across the keyboard almost fervently...

Wait.

His _hobby?_

He soon realized that the keys weren’t clicking anymore. He took a step back too late: Usagi-san had already opened the door and his beautiful eyes were watching him with amusement.

“What happened? Were you feeling lonely?”

“Eh? Me? Ah, nnno! No, it’s---I mean…!”

Usagi-san took him by the hand and kissed his fingers softly. “I know that look. Come, I’ll let you recharge for a while,” he smirked, as he pulled Misaki into his study room and closed the door behind them.

**\-----**

** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trivia:  
> -Roughly, JPY 1,000,000 is around USD 10,000. (Edit: Dec 2017, now it's less than USD 9,000, wow!)  
> -The second button of the uniform is the one boys traditionally give to girls as a love confession, since it's the one closest to the heart.
> 
> Coming up: Prince Akihiko and Brave Fencer Misaki!


	2. Sunday Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The following story contains slightly mature themes.

“I’m really sorry, mister! I’ll make her apologize!” a high-schooler exclaimed as he ran after a little girl who was brandishing a sparkly, bright pink scepter. “Miko-chan, wait!”

“Are you okay?” Akihiko asked Misaki, who still felt the blow of the girl running head first into his stomach.

“I’m fine, but… Did he have to call me ‘mister’?” Misaki lamented. “I feel like an old guy now.”

Akihiko smiled and tousled the back of Misaki’s hair. “Don’t worry: you’re still a brat to me.” He glanced in the direction taken by the children and his eyes lit up. “Oh, the toy section! I think there’s a bears-of-the-world fair over there.”

“Don’t even think about it!” Misaki growled, already foreseeing the way back home with a trunk full of international bears. “There’s no way we can fit any more of those things in that room!”

Akihiko gave him a deadpan look. “Eeeh… No wonder that boy called you ‘mister’. Misaki, you’re a bit of a wet blanket sometimes.”

“What did you say?”

“Ah, I got it! We can use your bedroom,” Akihiko nodded, marveled at his idea. “It’s not as if you sleep there anymore, anyw---”

“Usagi? Misaki?” Takahiro was approaching them from behind, a broad smile painted on his face. “What a surprise to find you here! What are you doing in Chiba?”

“Takahiro! Misaki needed to get some clothes, and I thought it would be good if we found something for Mahiro. I heard this mall has a great selection of foreign toys. It’ll be his birthday soon, right?”

“Uwaaa, Usagiii!” Takahiro exclaimed. “You’re always so thoughtful! But you really shouldn’t bother---”

Akihiko laughed. “Please, it’s the least I can do. But what about you? Aren’t you here with your family?”

“Ah, I was paying a visit to one of our clients – _on a Sunday,_ ” he sighed. “Well, at least they didn’t make me travel to Kyoto again! I wanted to find a robot for Mahiro, and I thought…”

Misaki barely listened to Takahiro’s enthusiastic words. He was feeling the weight of the dream he’d had the night before. Those two, smiling together, looking good standing side by side… Every time he stood before them he felt so small. Well, actually, he _was_ smaller, but that had nothing to do with that state of self-consciousness that increased whenever he compared himself to his brother.

“Um… So… If you two want to visit the toy section, I will go find the clothes I need,” he said weakly.

“Alright! Let’s go, Usagi!”

“Are you sure?” Akihiko asked, his violet eyes flashing concern at the sight of Misaki’s distressed face. “We can wait for you if you want.”

Misaki could see his lover’s hand twitching. It was obvious that Akihiko wanted to touch him, to run his fingers through his hair, or hug him tight the way he usually did. That little gesture warmed his heart, and he produced one of his elusive smiles. “I’m sure. I’ll find you guys later.” As he turned to walk away, he shouted at his brother, “Niichan, don’t let him get any more bears!”

* * *

“Come on, Usagi-san… The water’s no good anymore. We’re gonna catch a cold if we stay here.” Misaki stood up and got out of the bathtub, wrapping himself in the brand new robe he’d bought that afternoon. “I’ll leave yours here, okay?”

Akihiko yawned as he stepped out carefully. “I think I’ll sleep really well tonight. Tsk. I did want to finish that book…”

“It’s better to go to sleep when you’re sleepy. You’ll have time to read tomorrow.” Misaki turned on the hair dryer and untangled the knots at the bottom of his hair. “Remember I won’t be here from 9 to 5 since Isaka-san asked me to help out with another department just for the day, so you’ll have to reheat---” His lover’s arms surrounded him from behind, and Usagi-san’s nose was buried in his neck, breathing in the essence of shampoo and body soap that Misaki exuded. Misaki turned around and pointed the hair dryer to Akihiko’s hair, tousling it as he dried it. “Tch. Is this what you wanted, Young Master Usami?”

Akihiko smiled and yawned again. “It’ll do. But I’m really sleepy. Next time we should have sex in the morning, right after a good night’s sleep.” He left a small kiss on Misaki’s left cheek.

“There’ll be no next time if you keep saying those things, you jerk!” a red-faced Misaki yelled as his lover dragged his feet out of the bathroom. _He looks drained,_ he thought. _Well, he’s not getting any younger. I guess that those all-nighters we used to have are out of the question now. Wait. What am I saying? It’s not that I want that, anyway! Crap! How come the thought of him controls me even when he’s not around?_

By the time Misaki lay down on the large bed, Usagi-san was sleeping soundly, his lips slightly parted. _So peaceful._ Misaki allowed himself to gaze upon his lover’s handsome sleeping face for a moment, before he turned around and switched off the light.

* * *

*** * ***

He was wearing his uniform again? He groaned at the sight of those black sleeves. Was he permanently stuck in high school? Wasn’t there a better time in life? Once again, he was no longer in Mitsuhashi, but he had fallen into the reflecting pool of his university and had appeared in the kingdom of Marukawa, his realm. He stood up and sighed, feeling the cool water seeping through his clothes. A cloudless, unchanging sky always greeted him, and the warm breeze of late summer enveloped his body. _So peaceful._ Why? Why was it so easy to live there? His body felt lighter, his mind sharper, and his heart was certain in that place.  

“Chibi-tan! I mean—Your Majesty! You’re back!”

Misaki looked up and saw his captain, Isaka, approaching him with a towel. “I take it you read the signs and were expecting me? It’s been a long time since I last was here.”

“Your absence has been felt by all your subjects, _heika_ , but nobody felt it more than my little brother.” Isaka grinned. “I still can’t believe Akihiko has become so attached to someone the way he has to you.” They strolled towards the temple before them. “Well, I guess it’s only a matter of time now before you stay here permanently. You can’t keep being a part-time king, Misaki.”

“I know… But my brother---”

“Does he still oppose your being here?”

Misaki sighed. “I don’t know how to tell Takahiro about this.”

Isaka squinted. “About your condition as king here, or about your future marriage to Akihiko? I understand that in Japan, this type of relationship is discouraged, but…”

“But…?” Misaki’s green eyes examined Isaka’s concerned face.

_“MISAKI!”_

Misaki turned around to gaze upon the beauty of he whose voice always held a spell on him. He pushed the towel into Isaka’s arms and ran towards his fiancé. “Akihiko-hiko, I’ve missed you!”

Akihiko’s cheeks blushed furiously, making him look even cuter in the morning light. As usual, his rich garments matched the color of his eyes, and Misaki knew that he only wore those clothes for him. “Idiot, I told you a hundred times that it’s not _–hiko_ , it’s _no kimi!_ Seriously, you must revise your lang---!” He was interrupted by Misaki’s bold kiss, something that both of them knew would disarm him completely. When the younger man let go of him, Akihiko wrapped his arms around him. “You… You _did_ miss me!”

“You never believe me so I’ll just have to say it all the time till you do, right? I missed you, I missed you, I missed you…” Misaki chuckled. It was so good to be there in Marukawa. There, he felt that he could breathe a little more easily, having left behind the weight of his brother’s expectations back on Earth. This place… It was their place, where he and Akihiko had met and chosen each other. There, they were free.

Before he knew it, they were at the castle. A councilor whose face he couldn’t recognize but whose voice sounded oddly familiar left a pile of papers on his desk, with the royal scepter on top of it, acting as a paperweight. _Damn these rich people,_ Misaki sighed mentally. There were plenty of gifts on the table, but his eyes spotted a giant crocheted strawberry and a basket of cherries lying next to it.

“I see my eldest brother hasn’t given up on you yet.” Akihiko’s voice was like a cat’s purr in Misaki’s ear.

“You know I’m not interested in him.”

“Hmmm… I do.” Akihiko’s cheek rubbed against Misaki’s shoulder-blade. “But Misaki, isn’t it natural to feel jealous if the person you love best is loved by so many people?”

Before Misaki could reply, Isaka entered the room. “ _Heika!_ There’s a disturbance in Usaminomori!”

“How bad?” Akihiko inquired.

Isaka swallowed hard. “It’s the largest we’ve seen so far. The townsfolk have been evacuated, but… there’s no telling what can happen this time.” He fixed his eyes on Misaki. “I’m sorry, _heika_ , but I’ll have to take Akihiko-sama with me.”

“Then I’ll go as well,” Misaki replied hastily.

“It could be too dangerous to---”

“If he’s going, I’m going.”

Akihiko’s fingers twitched slightly, and Misaki knew that he wanted to hold him back and protect him as he’d always done so far, but this time it was his turn to show who he really was.

The land seemed to move around them as they spurred their rides across the valley. The magic in their veins resonated as they traveled together – fire and water leaving a misty trail behind them. They’d discovered that the longer they spent together, the easier it was for the others to notice how powerful their connection had grown. A bubble of excitement danced in Misaki’s chest, tickling him with unspoken emotions. As he looked to the side, he saw that violet-eyed man scouting the land sharply for him. He was always doing that for him. “Akihiko!” he shouted.

“Yes, Your Majesty?”

“Let’s do our best, together!”

Akihiko’s proud smile never failed to warm him up.

“There it is!” Isaka shouted from the front line. “ _Heika_ , the Gate has been opened!”

“Could it be…? Yes, it has to be _that man_ …” Akihiko gritted his teeth as tiny sparks swirled around him, gathering into flames that slithered down his arms. “I knew that he wouldn’t leave us alone. That he has decided to reappear now that Misaki’s back---!”

“And for how long will the king be back this time?” a deep voice questioned. From amidst the grey flames that surrounded the Gate, an older man emerged. His dark eyes looked down on them as he walked forward. “It is so nice to see you again, Takahashi-kun. I hope this time you’ll stay forever… Although, if you prefer,” he pointed to the Gate, “this portal will remain open long enough for you to leave and never return. Frankly, I would like you to do that.” The man smiled unpleasantly. “After all, your existence has indeed become a hindrance…”

“Fuyuhiko-dono,” Isaka warned him. “You have no right to treat His Majesty---”

“Ah, I forgot we all danced to the tune of His Majesty in this realm. But what about in _his_ world? Wouldn’t it be better to be honest about that?” Fuyuhiko moved aside to reveal the presence of a newcomer.

“Misaki,” Takahiro said sadly. “I thought… I wish I hadn’t found you here.”

In the distance, the forest became agitated, as if the trees had started falling one by one. Misaki flinched. His brother… His brother had somehow entered his world, the world that he and Akihiko had building together. “Niichan… you shouldn’t be here. You do not belong---”

“Should I let you be, then, so that you throw away all the years I took care of you? All the hopes that Father and Mother had for you?” His eyes were glaring, different from his usual composed self. “That man standing next to you… He’s fire, and you’re water, Misaki. You’re not meant to be together. I can understand if you tell me he’s a passing phase, but---”

“This isn’t a mere infatuation!” Akihiko shouted. “I love him, and he loves me!”

Takahiro looked at him with disgust. “You... Do not dare talk to me, _monster_. You’re the one who holds him back, keeping him from a normal life.”

“Why… Why can’t you understand that this is the life I want?” Misaki questioned. “It is true that at first I didn’t understand what was going on within me, but this…” He conjured thousands of droplets in a second. “This is who I am.”

“Does that mean that you will finally stop fleeing the kingdom, _heika_?” Fuyuhiko wondered, a smirk painted on his lips.

“No, I will not allow this! Misaki, come back now!” Takahiro barked.

“You have no saying in this!” Akihiko charged against him, but Takahiro’s barrier was too strong and sent him flying against the dying trees. Misaki knew that none of Akihiko’s attacks would work against him, but what could _he_ do against his older brother? Never had he expected to confront him like this, but Akihiko was more important to him than he could have predicted.

“Leave him alone!” he yelled, signaling for Isaka to take Akihiko away. “I will fight you if I must!”

“Misaki, you…? No, you don’t mean that,” Takahiro said softly. “I am your only family. You know all I’ve ever wanted was for you to lead a happy, normal life…”

“But I already have that life!” Misaki’s throat hurt under the strain of the tears that would never be shed. “I have that life here, with him!” He put up a barrier between his brother and the world he wanted to protect. “I’m… I’m sorry, niichan… But this… This is where I want to stay.”

Takahiro unsheathed his sword and charged against his brother, a strangled scream escaping his throat. Misaki understood. That had been a conversation that they should have had long before. He’d never wanted to part from his brother this way.

Invisible threads stopped Takahiro abruptly. “Pardon me,” Fuyuhiko grinned, “but now that the king has decided to stay, it is my duty as Keeper of the Gate and loyal subject to the kingdom to prevent this type of incidents.” He dragged Takahiro to the other side and closed the Gate behind him.

“Fuyuhiko-dono, _really?_ ” Isaka grumbled. “That was absolutely unnecessary.”

“Good grief, can’t an old man ensure his children’s happiness anymore? His Majesty needed to come to that conclusion once and for all.”

“Yes, but Akihiko could have been badly hurt,” Isaka protested. “And His Majesty’s brother didn’t mean to do him any harm. That was the only way he knew to protect the person he loved.”

When they arrived back at the castle, Misaki asked to be left alone with Akihiko in his chamber. His lover’s back had some scratches that needed healing, and his magic needed recharging.

 _“You’re fire and water. You’re not meant to be together.”_ Misaki understood everyone’s concerns: they came from different worlds, they were unstable together. Both of them were too loving in their own way, their personal magic being so similar and opposed at the same time. Their emotions ran too deep – _fingers dug into each other’s backs, bodies consumed and drowned in each other, sweeping everything around them every time they met_. But no, that wasn’t just a phase. Akihiko’s soul was his, and his heart was Akihiko’s.

He heard a soft groan coming from the bed. Akihiko was lying face down, stirring slowly. “Misaki?” he called softly.

“I’m here, Akihiko-hiko,” Misaki said with a smile as his fingers moved the hair away from his lover’s face. “How are you feeling?”

“Embarrassed,” he admitted. “I can’t believe your brother managed to disarm me and take me out so easily.”

“You’ve always been weak to his magic.” He kissed Akihiko’s cheek softly. “But thank you for always trying to protect me.”

Akihiko smiled, and his violet eyes watched him with adoration. “I would say that I’d give my life for you, but it’s not mine to give anymore.” He winced. “So bothersome… The fabric of the nightshirt stings.”

“As expected from my little prince,” Misaki chuckled. “Even the finest silk is too harsh for you. Here, let me help you.” He sat astride Akihiko’s thighs and raised the shirt slowly. The scratches were superficial, but that back was not used to being mistreated. Misaki leaned down and kissed up Akihiko’s spine. He smirked when he heard his lover’s involuntary gasp. “What’s wrong? Did that hurt?”

Akihiko shook his head and buried his face on the pillow.

“So cute…” Misaki’s fingers slid up the sides of Akihiko’s now feverish body; his temperature rose every time he was touched by his lover, whose soothing hands always refreshed him, breathing life into him. Misaki blew softly on his back before choosing a scratch to lick. Akihiko squirmed beneath him, rubbing his lower back against Misaki’s hips. The young king grinned. “Akihiko-hiko… Please, raise your hips for me…”

Akihiko turned to gaze at his lover. “Misaki…”

*** * ***

* * *

“Misaki… _Misaki!”_

He opened his eyes and found himself lying over Suzuki-san. Usagi-san had sat up and was shaking him by the shoulder. “Akihiko, you… Er… Ah… Aaah!” He shuddered and rolled away, taking Suzuki-san with him. _What was that dream? What did I call him just now? Did he---_

“ _Akihiko_?” Usagi-san repeated, dumbfounded. “You… I think it’s the first time you called me by my first name!”

“Nnno, y---you’re wrong!” Misaki yelled, deeply flustered. “I was talking in my sleep! That was just part of my dr---!” He blinked. “Eh?! Ah! No, no!”

“Misaki!” Usagi-san pounced on him and squeezed him. “You were dreaming about me! Ah, what should I do now? You always make me so, so happy…”

A few seconds later, Misaki’s hands patted Usagi-san’s back softly, and he wished he were able to protect the prince’s bright smile for the rest of his life.

**\-----**

** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally, I wanted to write something fluffy and very KyouKaraMaou-ish. (The anime has Misaki's VA as the main character, Isaka's VA as his bodyguard/godfather, and Miyagi's VA also plays a part.) Instead, it turned into... this. It's kind of like a coming-out story, and the fact that Misaki's topping in his dream was just too entertaining to delete everything, so I played along and this is the result. Misaki will probably reflect on that specific part during the next chapter.
> 
> -hiko is like the male counterpart of -hime (princess); -no kimi is just another form from another period. 'Heika' and 'Your Majesty' are equivalent.


	3. Monday Night

_“Chi-bi-ta-n!”_ Isaka-san’s cold hands touched the back of Misaki’s neck, making him jolt and shudder. “You’re early as usual. Thank you for your hard work, and by that I mean looking after Akihiko, of course.” His lips curved into a boyish grin. “I hope he’s not being a pain in the ass this week.”

“You’re always welcome to come over and spend some time with him, Isaka-san.”

“Only if I can bring Haruhiko-chan along! Although I imagine that Akihiko has installed some kind of intruder alert system against the Usami family.”

“Haha…”Misaki chuckled, internally cringing as he remembered that Usagi-san had actually thought of having something like that installed. “In any case, one week goes by rather fast, so I hope Aikawa-san is enjoying her vacation as well.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” Isaka-san sighed as they rode the elevator together. “She’s off to Nagasaki, to visit her parents. One of her cousins is getting married, so she’ll probably have a hard time. You know how it is, right? Parents can either be the most encouraging people, or the harshest critics. I assume that for a woman Aikawa’s age, it’ll be the second kind.” He saw Misaki nod in silence and smiled. “Well, I guess we all have our struggles with our families.”

“Perhaps,” Misaki forced himself to smile. “Ah, so that means that I’ll be working with her department…” His voice trailed off as he remembered one of Aikawa-san’s occupations. “Excuse me, but…”

“Yes, the Ruby department!” Isaka-san grinned upon seeing Misaki’s petrified expression. “Ah, but don’t worry, you won’t have to work with any of the projects you’re familiar with. They’re just doing some script cleaning to make way for some new people.” As the doors opened, he greeted two people who were passing by. “You guys, I got the invite. See you there at 8?”

“Any time before 9 would be fine; that’s when Takano-san will arrive, and if we want it to remain a surprise, you should arrive before that,” the taller guy said. Misaki noticed a stern expression in his handsome face and he wondered how Usagi-san would get along with an editor like that. The other man was equally attractive, but he seemed much kinder. When their eyes met, Misaki looked away, hoping he hadn’t been caught staring.

“Takahashi-kun, these are the new chief editor of Emerald, Hatori-san, and the second editor-in-chief, Onodera-san. Ah, Onodera here is another tortured soul. When he worked in his family’s company, he used to be Akihiko’s editor.”

“Tortured soul? You shouldn’t say those things, Isaka-san. Nice to meet you. So you know Usami-sensei?” Onodera asked, sounding evidently surprised at the mention of the writer’s first name.

 _This guy, Usagi-san’s editor? But he looks so young!_ “I do. Thank you for taking care of him and his work,” Misaki replied, bowing. “I’m sure it must have been a challenging experience.”

“As it’s usually the case, every good challenge is very rewarding,” Onodera smiled gently. “Usami-sensei’s writing can be soul-healing, and not a single moment is boring when reading his works.”

Misaki blushed and bowed once more. “Thank you. He works hard to make sure that happens.”

Isaka-san looked at him closely. “Well, time for us to leave. I’ll see you guys tonight.” He and Misaki went on walking along the corridor. “It’s nice to see Akihiko’s work acknowledged, isn’t it? Especially from someone whose job is to hack pieces off the authors’ works. I used to do that, so I’d know. Ah, here we are. Hello, girls!” He waved at the group of women. “Takahashi-kun is here to help you, so I’ll leave him in your care.”

“Long time no see, Takahashi-kun!” one of them greeted him once Isaka-san had left. “We’re so grateful to see you around here again. Aikawa-san left some things for you to take home. They’re over there, with the rest of the… things.” She pointed to a desk that had been buried under piles of manuscripts and drafts. “One of the editors, Mari-san, recently quit. She wanted to focus on her family, you know?”

“Her baby is so cute!” another woman added, showing them a picture of the new parents holding a tiny bundle. “Mari-san is so lucky to be able to care for her family like that. That child will grow properly.”

“I guess we just have to find ourselves good husbands, right?” a third woman laughed, echoed by her co-workers. Misaki’s eyes went from one to the next before excusing himself. Too many things were going round his head, and for once, he wished he could get away from it all.

* * *

“You know, Usagi-san, you should really find something to do while I’m not here.” Misaki’s voice was muffled by a shoulder as his body was crushed against Akihiko’s chest. “I get it, you missed me. But really, don’t you have any friends to visit? Kamijou-sensei, perhaps?”

“That guy’s always busy,” Akihiko replied, letting go of Misaki and walking to the kitchen area. “And besides, I usually see him when I’m working on a new piece, but these are holidays, so I’d rather not. I made some tea, and I got you some bear pastries.”

“You… made tea?” Misaki grabbed Akihiko’s hands and inspected them. “Woah, amazing. No wounds.”

“You brat. Don’t underestimate me,” Akihiko smiled, ruffling Misaki’s hair.

“Well, good for you, Young Master Usami!” Misaki turned around to open the fridge, letting the cool air hit his cheeks. “At this rate soon you won’t be needing me anymore.” Eggs, always eggs. He wondered if he should suggest getting a coop, considering the number of eggs they consumed every week. _Oh?_   He turned to Akihiko, who was pouring the tea. _Won’t he say he needs me?_

“You know, I was just thinking about that today. Perhaps you’re right,” Akihiko commented, making Misaki’s heart skip a beat. “But I guess I never really needed anyone, not even my own mother.”

Then why had he said to him so many times that he was the one that needed him the most?

“Still, you are the only person I want by my side. And that feels… strange. I never wanted anything, remember? Even my infatuations were mere wishful thinking. And here I am, absolutely head over heels with you. Four years have passed and I love you more than ever before.” One of his hands passed through Misaki’s hair gently. “Now I know what it means to feel complete, and I want to make you as happy as you can be, for the rest of your life.”

 _Oh, crap._ Misaki was sure that his face was red now. “Shitty Usagi… Th-the things you say…” he managed to produce, before Akihiko kissed him.

* * *

*** * ***

“Misaki, they’re here!” Takahiro announced, looking at the intercom display. “Goodness, they’re loaded again!”

“You’ve got to be kidding me! I told them not to bring anything!”

“Well, you know them. They’ve always… Ummm… Usagi?” Takahiro frowned. “You… look a little pale.”

“I’m f-fine, totally fine!” Akihiko blurted out. “It’s j-just that… I h-haven’t been smoking l-lately…”

“Really?” Misaki said, sniffing Akihiko’s clothes. “Ah, what do you know? Smells like bullshit.” Dragging Akihiko to the study room, he smacked his lover on the head and held him by the shoulders. “Oi, pull yourself together! They’re not monsters, you know?” He sighed and held one of Akihiko’s hands in his and pressed it against his lips. “They’re going to love you, I just know it. So come on, Usami-sensei: show me that aura of the youngest winner of numerous literary awards and super best-selling novelist that you always show off.”

“You’re actually proud of me, aren’t you?” Akihiko smiled.

“Misaki?” Takahiro’s voice called from the living room.

“Yeees! We’re coming!” He gave Akihiko’s hand a little squeeze. “Everything will be fine.”

“Ah, there they are!” An older version of Takahiro, Misaki’s father approached them. “Usami-sensei, it’s a pleasure to meet you at last. Thank you for taking care of our Misaki.”

“I’m the one who takes care of him, actually,” Misaki corrected his father, only to receive a cushion to the face.

“You little brat,” Misaki’s mother hissed. “Are you trying to embarrass Usami-sensei?” She pinched his cheeks and ruffled his hair. “You’re just as spoiled as ever, hmph! And what’s this? Misaki… You need a haircut.”

“You know my head is too small for shorter hair!” Misaki whined. He turned around when he heard Akihiko’s chortle. “Oi, what’s with the laughter? You’re the one who says he likes it better when I keep it longish!”

“Usami-sensei,” Misaki’s mother said, holding Akihiko’s hand in hers, “thank you for putting up with my younger son. He’s not the brightest kid or the best-looking man, but I’m sure that---”

“I know his good points,” Akihiko replied with a smile. “We have known each other for some time now, and I have seen his hard work and his earnestness. He is the best companion I could have asked for, and he will be the best husband.”

Misaki’s mother squealed. “You and I will have to spend some time talking about the wedding, Usami-sensei! Ah, can I call you Akihiko?”

“Please,” Akihiko smiled.

“Ah, Aki-chan! You’re so adorable!”

“Don’t call him adorable – he’s a petty man and he’ll use it against me later on!” Misaki rolled his eyes as he approached his father. “Looks like Mother has been looking forward to this meeting for a long time.”

“Well, you know her,” Misaki’s father smiled. “She’s always feeling guilty about working so much. We missed Takahiro’s wedding. And Misaki, you don’t call us very often.” He gazed at his son as he poked his forehead gently. “I wonder why we’re here now.”

“What are you saying, Father?” Takahiro chuckled, passing his arm around Misaki’s shoulders. “You know it was high time you two met Usagi, since you didn’t really have the chance before…”

There was an itch at the back of Misaki’s mind; it was the strangest sensation, as if he was forgetting something important. Had he prepared all the dishes he knew they liked? Yes. Usagi-san had even paired them with the right wine. The high chair for Mahiro? No, that was not necessary. Dessert? He sighed as he spotted the mountain of snacks and sweets his parents had gotten. Still…

“I’ll help you, Misaki-kun,” Manami offered. They walked to the kitchen area to serve the snacks and appetizers. “Usami-san seems to feel at ease now. That’s good.”

“Mother can be scary, right?”

“She is very… lively. Strong-willed. You know, you’re very much like her.”

“Nee-chan…”

“Ah, I mean it in a good sense! You have this air of independence, but at the same time, you deeply care for everyone else around you, so much that…” Her voice faded to a whisper. “They’ve sure brought lots of things with them this time. Snacks, toys, books, clothes, a charm. Years of presents…”

“Dinner’s ready, everyone!” Takahiro announced, as they took their places around the table. Cold barley tea for Father and Manami, and Usagi-san’s voice talking about the wine.

That man... He knew everything, didn’t he? Usagi-san was always curious, even in those times he just wanted to ignore things. He did what he wanted, but he always made sure that others would be provided for as well. When he had left his family, he had only taken enough to get himself a small place of his own. He hadn’t raised a fuss as to who would be the next head of the family; he’d only asked to be left alone. He’d bought the condo with his own, hard-earned money. Misaki knew how many days and nights it took Usagi-san to work on his ideas, to shape them to the point in which they would resemble his vision as much as possible. He knew how much he sometimes doubted himself – it was visible in the shadows under his eyes, in a strand of hair that he usually twirled when he was truly deep in thought, something he was probably unaware of, or the way he withdrew from the world, going to a place Misaki himself felt that he couldn’t reach.  

Ah, but he was a good partner. He was honest and fun to be with. He was attractive, more than Misaki liked to admit. He was a good kisser as well as a good lover. The main problem, Misaki thought, was that he knew he was good. _Jerk_ , he chuckled. He raised his eyes and they met his mother’s, so much like his own. She was smiling, gazing at him warmly.

“I for one would have no problem whatsoever in welcoming Usagi to our family,” Takahiro stated. “He’s been my dear friend for years and it is obvious that he cares for Misaki.”

“Takahashi Akihiko,” Father mused. “So? How does it sound, Usami-sensei? Of course, I assume you’d still want to use your name for work-related reasons…”

Misaki’s eyes spotted the reservation in Usagi-san’s face. Perhaps he was still unsure…? Was it because he wasn’t as demonstrative as Usagi-san would like him to be? “Usagi-san…”

“You see… I think…” Akihiko looked for the right words. “I’ve always wanted to be part of a family. I have relatives with whom I share bonds of blood, but that’s all. Misaki… is my family.” His violet eyes gazed at Misaki with the kind of look he gave him when he thought he was asleep. “I said that to my father one of the last times we met, and he said that he would be willing to adopt Misaki into the Usami family.”

“Eh?!” Misaki blinked.

“Misaki, an Usami?” Takahiro’s wide-open eyes were filled with disbelief. “But--- When did---?”

“It was before we had our first talk,” Akihiko replied calmly. “My father was worried about us taking too long to tell your family about our relationship, and he made the suggestion.”

“If I may…” Father cleared his throat. “Misaki, were you afraid of telling us about Usami-sensei? Were you embarrassed?”

Misaki felt his heart thumping wildly.

Mother sighed. “Takahiro, have you been torturing your brother?”

“No, it wasn’t like that…! It... wasn’t Niichan’s fault,” Misaki murmured.

“Then? What was it?”

Even though Mother and Father leaned forward, their faces looked blurred. Misaki rubbed his eyes, feeling the words pushing from within. “I felt… that I was being selfish.” He clenched his fists. “I felt that I wasn’t fulfilling anyone’s expectations by choosing to be with Usagi-san.”

“And yet,” Mother said, “here we are, after all this time.”

“Is this what you have chosen, Misaki?” Father asked.

Misaki raised his eyes, and his gaze met Usagi-san’s. Those sparkling violet eyes were watching him expectantly, and Misaki realized that it had been like that for a long time. Yes, he had definitely been selfish, but the greatest mistake he’d made had been to refuse to accept that. Because when it came to Usagi-san…

When it came to that man, Misaki wanted his everything.

“Yes,” Misaki replied. “I have chosen Usagi-san.”

Mother reached out and stroked his hair. “ _Baaaka._ We knew already. Why are you so slow, Misaki? Is it because we spoiled you that much?”

“We know that your happiness with Usami-sensei is the reason why you haven’t called us,” Father said. “It is easy to see that you two complete each other. So whatever you want to do, whether it’s bringing Usami-sensei into our family, or choosing to join him in his… It will always be your choice.”

“You could have told me your concerns,” Takahiro added with a sad smile. “You’re my little brother. You know I’d do anything for you.”

Misaki swallowed hard and bowed his head. “I’m sorry.”

A distant rumble caught their attention. “It sounds like it’s going to rain,” Father said. “We’d better get going.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to spend the night here?” Akihiko asked.

“Thank you, Aki-chan, but we really shouldn’t stay,” Mother said.

There was something that bothered Misaki, something that felt off. The clock with the bear carving chimed for the first time since Fuyuhiko had given it to them, and the sound… Low, distant, persistent, like a phone ringing, ringing… Takahiro was tired of answering it, but he had told Misaki not to take the calls. Not that time.

_When Niichan cried himself to sleep, the phone kept ringing, ringing… But I wasn’t allowed to pick it up._

Misaki gasped as he saw his parents crossing the door on their way out. “Wait! Don’t go!” He ran after them and reached out to grab them by the arms, but Mother stopped him.

“This is as far as you can go, Misaki,” she said kindly. “Be a good boy, will you?”

Misaki’s anguish choked him. “Please… Don’t go out tonight.”

“It is time, Misaki,” Father replied, resting his warm hand on Misaki’s shoulder. “It was nice to see you. You have grown to be a good person. We are proud of you.”

If he let them go away... Was there anything he could do…? He felt Usagi-san’s cold hand on his back, giving him courage. He gazed into those violet eyes and his restlessness subsided.

“Come on... Give us one of your bright smiles, Micchan,” Mother said. “And be happy.”

Usagi-san’s arms surrounded him, hugging him tightly from behind. Supported, loved, cared for: he was never lonely or unhappy when they were together. Finding his own happiness was not being selfish. Those who loved him wanted to see him smile. Misaki nodded, and he couldn’t explain why his eyes filled up with tears as he grinned at his parents.

“Drive carefully,” he tried to say, but the rumble of thunder drowned his words.

*** * ***

* * *

 

Sluggish. Half of his face was buried in his fluffy pillow. Cold fingers brushed the other half.

“Ah, sorry.” Akihiko’s coarse voice was softer than usual. “I woke up because of the storm and noticed that you seemed to be having a sad dream. There are still some tears on your eyelashes.” He stroked his cheek. “Are you okay?”

Misaki blinked slowly and stared at Usagi-san’s handsome face. His arms felt heavier than usual, but his left hand found its way out from under the covers and rested on Usagi-san’s, warming it up. His lips curved into a languid smile that widened as Akihiko watched him, fascinated.

“Akihiko,” he murmured sleepily, “will you be a Takahashi?”

**\-----**

** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -I hadn't updated since September? Shame on me. 
> 
> -Yes, Hatori and Onodera are making a cameo. What happened to Takano? That's part of the future of "Kotoba". The SIH timeline corresponds to the first year of Misaki living with Usagi, so this would be around three years after the series. This story takes place in the months before Misaki becomes a full-time employee of Marukawa.
> 
> -Adult adoption is a perfectly legal practice in Japan, but it requires that you leave your family name behind - in fact, that's how Fuyuhiko joined the Usami family. It can be used as an equivalent to same-sex marriage, though in practice it is the older partner that adopts the younger one (logically).


	4. Tuesday Night

“You’re still half asleep. You can rest a little longer.” Akihiko got up and reached out to get his robe. “It’s barely past dawn. I’ll be in the study, writing---”

“I’m awake.” Misaki let out a quiet groan as he sat up and rubbed his eyes.

Akihiko turned to Misaki and raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure you’re awake? Who am I?”

“Usagi-san?”

“And what did you call me just now?”

Misaki frowned briefly before a look of realization appeared in his face. “Akihiko.”

“Well, at least you remember.” He sat down beside him and watched him. “I don’t exactly mind it, but I’m getting curious. It’s the second time you’ve called me that, and you never do it consciously. I wonder what’s going on in that head of yours when you sleep.” He ran his fingers through Misaki’s hair and kissed his forehead. “Ah… I think you’re running a temperature.”

“Don’t be silly,” Misaki dismissed him. “I haven’t gotten sick in ages.” He pushed the covers aside and tried to stand up, but suddenly his head felt light and he lost his footing.

Akihiko grabbed him just in time and gently left him back on the bed. “I’m going to get some medicine and the relief pads. What else do you need? Water, right?”

“The thermometer,” Misaki said quietly. “It might be nothing.”

“I know your body temperature like the back of my hand,” Akihiko replied, looking for his phone and browsing through his contacts. “Light food, light food. You’ll still have to eat something, so that the medicine won’t be bad for your stomach. Ah, but I don’t think it’ll be good if I cooked, and you might get even more worried. Maybe I should go out and get something?”

Misaki’s lips curved into a smile. Why was Usagi-san fidgeting so much? He recalled that time that he’d visited him while he had a fever, back when he was still living with Takahiro. Even through the stupor of the fever, Misaki had found himself thinking how hopeless Usagi-san seemed to be, but at the same time, how gentle his heart was. ”Who are you call---?”

“Ah, Isaka-san, it’s me, Akihiko. I just wanted to let you know that Misaki’s calling in sick. No. No, that’s not the case… I didn’t do that. … Why should I call to his office? I’m telling _you_ , aren’t I? That should be good enough.” He scoffed and gave the phone to Misaki. “He wants to talk to you. I’ll get the medicine.”

“Hello? I’m terribly sorry, Isaka-san…”

“Chibi-tan, Akihiko hasn’t tied you up, has he?”

Misaki blushed. “No, nothing of the kind!”

“He wasn’t forcing you to model for his novels using handcuffs and conveniently happened to misplace the key?”

“... Isaka-san, I hope you haven’t asked him the same questions. I’d hate it if he got such ideas.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Isaka-san laughed. “I just had to ask. Do you want me to send someone over? I mean someone that can actually take care of you. If possible, I’d like you to be back in one piece as soon as you can, and Akihiko’s caring skills are… questionable.”

“It’s fine,” Misaki replied quietly. “He’s doing his best.”

There was a significant pause and when Isaka-san spoke again, it was obvious that he was smiling. “You two _do_ care for each other, don’t you? Ah, sorry. No need to answer that. None of my business. So, who should I talk to?”

Misaki tried to recall his schedule. “Today’s Tuesday, so I should be helping out Shizukui-san and Sapphire, but---“

“Say no more, I’ll get in touch with them. Ah, no – on second thoughts, I’ll tell Asahina to do that. People might not take it kindly if I were to do that kind of favor for a part-timer. Let’s just avoid the scandal, shall we? Okay then, Chibi-tan, get better soon!”

Misaki left the phone on the nightstand. Ijuuin-sensei’s second editor, Shizukuishi-san, already saw him as little more than a fan boy, and if Isaka-san were to show any favoritism… He sighed. Getting sick was truly a bother.

“Thermometer, water, and medicine,” Akihiko said, leaving the things on the nightstand. “But I’m afraid the relief pads have expired.”

“I told you we hadn’t gotten sick in a long time, didn’t I?” Misaki muttered as he took the thermometer.

Akihiko smiled and caressed his hair. “That’s because Misaki-kun always takes good care of me.”

Misaki’s cheeks felt on fire. “Of course I do, idiot. If I weren’t here with you, who knows where you’d be?”

“Probably long dead, buried under piles of books.”

“Poor eels and goldfish, then… And nobody would take care of the marimo either.”

Akihiko cocked his head. “Misaki, you _do_ understand that without you, there wouldn’t be eels, goldfish, or marimo, don’t you?”

“How’s that my fault?”

“Not your fault, but…” He held Misaki’s hand in his and brought it close to his lips. “There would have been no hot springs or Sapporo; no dates to the aquarium, the bear park, or summer festivals.” He sighed. “When I say that I want to give you anything you want, Misaki, I mean it. You’re always giving me so much. Ah, but if your heart could hold at least one tenth of the emotions mine does whenever I get to spend time with you, I would be so happy.”

There they were: the words, the look in Usagi-san’s face, the inflexion in his voice that reminded Misaki that he’d never actually conveyed his feelings. “You---We’ve talked about this; you know I enjoy spending time with you.”

Akihiko sighed. “Yes.”

“Then what’s with that pitiful expression? Even if we both have our obligations, we always manage to spend time together. And you, you’re not the only one who feels lonely when---!” Misaki’s voice cracked and he coughed.

“Don’t strain yourself, boy.” Akihiko handed him the bottle of water. “Forgive me. I shouldn’t insist on these things, especially when you’re not feeling well…” Those violet eyes of his were looking down in more than one sense, and Misaki felt restless. He knew that it would only take a word from him to make those eyes bright again.

Misaki closed his eyes, recalling the dream from the night before. His head was throbbing and his heart seemed to be beating faster than usual. The warmth in his hands… He knew that it was the fever talking, but he also knew that it was just an excuse, and when Akihiko reached out to take the bottle from him, his fingers wrapped around Akihiko’s cool hand.

“You’re in my dreams,” he murmured, looking away. “Every night. Usagi-san… I really can’t get you out of my head. And I…” Misaki’s voice retold the memory of his most recent dreams as Akihiko watched him, eyes wide open.

“So this morning, when you said---”

“I don’t know.” Misaki blushed. “I mean, I know what I said, I just don’t know… how to… I mean…”

Akihiko threw his arms around him and held him close to his chest. “It can’t be done like that. If anything, you’d have to join my family and become an Usami.”

“Eh? Ah, but to me…! It’s not that I need that sort of…”

“Then why would you keep dreaming about that? You’re obviously worrying about it at some level and that’s why you’re sick now.” Akihiko kissed his forehead. “Don‘t you think it’s time to talk to Takahiro about it?”

Misaki fidgeted. “It’s just that we’ve never… You’ve never asked… Ah, but it's not like I've asked you either, so it’s not just you who---! Ah, don’t… It’s nothing! I mean---” He was so startled by Akihiko’s laughter that he had to look up.

“Is that all you needed? I thought we’d made that clear years ago!” He took Misaki’s hand in his and kissed it. “Idiot boy, how many times have I told you that you only need to ask anything you want from me?”

“Nnno, that’s not---!” Misaki tried to withdraw his hand, but he got distracted by the loud thumping of his heart and Akihiko’s voice, as he asked the question that had never been properly uttered between them.

“I’ll give you my all, Misaki. Partner, boyfriend, husband, companion, lover – you choose the word, so... Will you be mine?”

Perhaps it was the fever. Perhaps it was the nights of sleeping beside that man, or the odd dreams that he’d had. Or perhaps it was those four years of living together, of their bodies getting used to each other, or the shared moments and the emotion that had taken over him long, long ago, during a cold winter night on a nameless street, before he could even put a name to it. But precisely because of all that, the word slipped out of his lips. There was no major thinking behind his answer, because now the alternative was simply unthinkable.

“… Yes.”

He was barely aware of Akihiko’s words of love in his ears. As he closed his eyes, his own emotions rushed forward, clouding his feelings but clearing his head: no matter what came next, he knew that they’d always have each other. Now, if only he could say… He’d have to tell him…

“Misaki…” Akihiko’s cool voice made him shudder. “You’re burning. I’d better go and get those pads. Whatever you do, don’t get up. I wonder if I should lock you up. I’m afraid if I don’t, you’ll want to come down and fall down the stairs.”

“What are you saying…” Misaki croaked.

“I’ll take you downstairs, just till I come back. It will be safer.”

As Akihiko carried him in his arms, Misaki wondered if he was still dreaming, or if that was actually happening. Those hands that held him were so cold and needed, and Usagi-san’s scent and heartbeat were just as lulling as ever.

* * *

  *** * ***

_He recognized the place, or rather, the cold atmosphere hidden behind the rich furniture. The bed was hard, and as he got up, he heard the door being unlocked. Haruhiko came in and closed the door behind him. He was saying something, but nothing seemed to make sense. His father had signed some papers? A meeting, somewhere… Usagi-san’s name in Haruhiko’s lips made Misaki shudder._

_“What?” Misaki blurted out._

_“He has returned, for you. It is the price he’ll have to pay. And that’s how I’ll become free.”_

_“I don’t understand.”_

_Haruhiko smiled without glee. “I told you, didn’t I? That if you stayed with Akihiko, things would be difficult for the two of you, that you would be creating trouble for your brother.”_

_“It isn’t anyone’s business but our own!” Misaki shouted._

_Haruhiko shook his head. “Didn’t you think that your brother and Akihiko would lose their precious friendship? Aren’t you being too selfish?”_

*** * ***

* * *

 

The ringtone of his cellphone woke him up. He fumbled about and held it against his ear. “Yes?” he answered, his eyes still closed.

“Misaki-kun?” Manami’s concerned voice surprised him. “You don’t sound very well. Or were you sleeping? If you were, I’m sorry…”

“Ah, Nee-chan… No, I’m… I have a fever. What time is it?”

“A little past 8am. I’m about to take Mahiro to the daycare.”

Misaki perceived her pause was longer than expected. “Nee-chan? Is there anything you need? Did something happen to Niichan?”

“Eh? No, no, everything’s fine! It’s just… When you feel better, I’d like to have a word with you, Misaki-kun,” Manami said slowly and gently. “Just the two of us.”

Misaki would never know if it was his temperature or the aftermath of his dream talking, but he heard himself saying, “You could come over after dropping off Mahiro. I’ll be here for the rest of the day.”

* * *

Usagi-san sure seemed to be taking his time. Misaki hoped that he wasn’t buying everything in the drugstore. He didn’t feel so awful now, but he had to take his temperature and the thermometer was upstairs. If he went back to the bedroom and Usagi-san happened to return at that precise moment, he wouldn’t hear the end of it. He shook his head. At least the freezer was there, so until the relief pads were there, he’d have to make do with some ice.

“I think we used to have some ice packs… Maybe in the larger freezer?” The cold air was refreshing but poorly received, thanks to the chills. Misaki buttoned up the collar of his pajamas and was fishing for the ice pack when he heard the door behind him open. “Ah, welcome back.”

“What are you doing up? Come, I’ll take you to the bedroom.” Akihiko left the grocery bags next to the door, but he didn’t even take his jacket off; he took Misaki in his arms and carried him back upstairs.

“I can walk, there’s no need---!”

“It’s easier this way. Here, you hold the drugstore bag.”

“Ah, before I forget: Nee-san called me a while ago. She’ll be stopping by. Do you mind opening the door for her?”

“No problem.” He left him on the bed and went to the window to draw the curtains. “Ah. She’ll probably make you better tea than the one I can make.”

Misaki took a tablet and opened the relief pad. “Anything you make will be fine, but I can survive with just water. Thank you for going shopping for me so early in the morning.”

Akihiko patted him on the head gently and smiled. “I like it when you rely on me.”

“You’re a bit of an S, aren’t you?” Misaki grumbled.

When the bell rang and Akihiko went downstairs to open the door, Misaki let out a deep breath. Usagi-san had improved a little, yes. He still sucked at peeling fruit, he thought, as he looked at the mangled apples that he’d been brought ( _“What happened here?! Did a feral rabbit attack them?!”_ ). He couldn’t help but smile. Next time he saw Sebastian, he’d ask him to teach Usagi-san to peel fruit. He was sure Usagi-san would listen to the butler.

As he heard the steps drawing near, it dawned on him that he was lying on the bed of the master bedroom. It was the place where he slept now, of course, but…

The door opened and Manami and Akihiko went in. “I’ll try to make some coffee, then,” Akihiko said, leaving them on their own.

Manami looked around, and even though Misaki congratulated himself for having moved most of the toys to another room when he’d agreed to sleep with Usagi-san, he was still well aware that Manami wouldn’t believe for one second that that was his bedroom.

And when he looked at her in the face, that was exactly what he saw.

* * *

The three of them sat in silence. Manami was staring at her cup of coffee, unwittingly making Misaki even more anxious. Akihiko’s face alternatively went from uncertainty to defiance, going through plain bother.

“I understand.” Manami blurted out after a long time. “I… It is not my place to ask any questions. This is a private matter.”

“Indeed,” Akihiko interjected. “But I suppose you understand why we still haven’t said anything to Takahiro.”

“Takahiro-san loves you two dearly,” Manami replied. “But I am not sure how easy it will be for him to accept this situation.”

Misaki felt his stomach churning as he saw a flash of irritation in Akihiko’s eyes. “Nee-chan… We don’t want to hurt Niisan, but the truth is---”

“Takahiro’s expectations for Misaki are his own,” Akihiko interrupted him. “ _He_ is the one who wanted to get married and have a family. He never asked Misaki if that was his plan for future as well. I get it: he had to be Misaki’s parents as well as his brother. It wasn’t easy for him. I’ve known him for a long time,” he said quietly, staring at Manami, “and I know what he had to go through and how he felt about it. But at the moment, it was his choice, and I want to believe that he did it without expecting anything in return, other than Misaki’s happiness.” He wrapped his fingers around Misaki’s. “The only thing I want is to make Misaki happy.”

Manami left his cup on the coffee table and gazed at Misaki. “Misaki-kun… You’re a young man, and it isn’t uncommon for young people to want to have different experiences before settling down. If this is a crush---”

“I---” Misaki started to reply, but Akihiko interrupted him again.

“With all due respect, Manami---”

“I love Usagi-san!” Misaki blurted out, shaking. His head was spinning, his stomach felt upside down, but the strongest sensation within him was a mix of frustration and anxiety – and yet, there was something else there, something that he could only identify with a desire for freedom. “I have loved Usagi-san for a long time now…” he murmured. “Longer than he knows. That’s why this isn’t a crush, Nee-chan.” He shook his head. “I can’t see myself parting ways with Usagi-san.”

“Misaki-kun…”

“I’m sure that Misaki fears my relationship with Takahiro will go sour when we tell him the news,” Akihiko said. “Takahiro has always been my dear friend, but if he shunned us over our relationship, I’d be fully prepared to take responsibility and let go of his friendship.”

“Usagi-san, that’s---!”

“I am.” Akihiko’s tone was adamant. He turned to Manami. “I hope it won’t be necessary.”

Manami sighed. “Four years ago Misaki-kun was still a child, legally. You know that better than anyone, Usami-san.”

“I was old enough to know what I wanted, Nee-chan,” Misaki replied jadedly.

“I’m not sure I appreciate what you’re implying…” Akihiko started to say, but Manami lowered her head.

“I’m sorry if I offended you. I am not your enemy.” She gazed at Misaki warmly. “I told you, didn’t I? That you sounded so happy whenever you talked about Usami-san, and you looked so lonely without him. I could never oppose this bond you two have formed when your words sound so sincere. But I wouldn’t like to see you and Takahiro-san falling apart, and perhaps it would be good for you to consider different problems that you might have to face… The path you have chosen is---”

“---a difficult one,” Akihiko and Misaki said in unison. They looked at each other and smiled, to Manami’s confusion. Akihiko explained, “That’s what my father said.”

“Your family knows, Usami-san?”

“Yes, and so do others.”

Manami sighed and eventually gave them a little smile. “Don’t mention that to Takahiro-san when you eventually decide to tell him. He might feel lonely.” She looked at the time. “I’d better go back. Perhaps this wasn’t the most appropriate time to have this conversation, given how you’re feeling, but I want you to know that I’ll be on your side when the time comes. Takahiro-san is my dear husband, but you two will always be our family, come what may.”

* * *

“Next Saturday,” Misaki said quietly.

“Hmmm?” Akihiko was checking his temperature. “Oh, it's back to normal. I’m glad.” He left a peck on his forehead and sighed. “Yes… Perhaps the sooner, the better.”

Misaki nodded and looked down. He knew that the time had finally come, but he couldn’t possibly predict Takahiro’s reaction, and that made him feel unsettled. He remembered Haruhiko’s words in his dream, and he wondered if that was how things were going to end. But now that Manami knew about them, the time for doubting was over. All that was left to do was to talk to his brother, and then… “Excuse me,” he said, raising an eyebrow. “Why are you getting in bed with me?”

“It’s pretty late, and if your fever’s gone, you should go to work tomorrow,” Akihiko replied, turning off the lights and snuggling against him. “Thank you,” he said after a while, “for telling Manami how you feel about me.” He rubbed his cheek against Misaki’s chest.

In the quiet of the night, Misaki was aware of Akihiko’s heartbeat, his breathing and warmth. He could tell that Akihiko was just as nervous as he was - that, in spite of his bravado, he was afraid of losing Takahiro. “Usagi-san…” he called softly, as he ran his fingers through Akihiko’s silky hair. “We will always have each other.”

* * *

*** * ***

_The snow kept falling outside, and the taste of that delicious coffee still lingered in his mouth. The roaring fireplace and the cozy couch were terribly inviting, and he curled up happily. A blanket was wrapped around him and when he looked up, Usagi-san’s smile filled him up with joy._

_“Merry Christmas, Misaki,” he said. “Thank you for being with me.”_

_A dream… Misaki remembered this place, but most importantly, he recalled the feeling he’d had when Usagi-san had hugged him so warmly. He gazed up at Usagi-san and smiled._

_“Merry Christmas, Akihiko-san. I love you.”_

*** * ***

**\-----**

** **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter is long! Originally, I was going to write something involving Takahiro, but when the Emerald magazine announced that the latest Junjou would show some big development, I switched the focus to Manami, because I was expecting Nakamura-sensei to finally give us The Talk. *sigh* 
> 
> Anyway, the dreaming is pretty short this time, mostly because it's hard to rest well when you're sick, but at least there are two dreams.
> 
> Kotoba and Majime will be updated next, in that order.


	5. Wednesday Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much is known about The-Kan (other than it's this super talented guy who cooks and fights against monsters) or its storyline, so all the fangirling and theorizing that Misaki and Toudou do is totally non-canon.
> 
> Short reminders (because this chapter has too many characters):  
> -Kaoruko and Mizuki are Akihiko's cousins. Toudou is Misaki's friend from university. Shizukui-san is one of Ijuuin-sensei's editors. All of them appear during season 3. (Kaoruko's first appearance was during season 2.)  
> -Midori Panchan, the Shiizun, and Sake Toro are obviously fictional, and the change behind Toudou/Todo has to do with the fact that I wanted Toudou's name to resemble that of Sake Toro, the character in The-Kan.

“I heard you were sick yesterday,” Shizukuishi said in his usual deadpan fashion. He didn’t even bother to look in Misaki’s direction, his eyes glued to the screen as he went through a long list of names. “You seem to be doing fine now.”

“Ah, yes. It was just a little temperature.” Misaki bowed. “I’m sorry for any inconveniences that might have caused you.”

“I guess it can’t be helped. Here – a list of assistants I printed yesterday. I’ve just received the one of the animators. Can you match their schedules and draw up a timetable? We’re having a meeting at 3.”

 _Holy crap, animators!!! Another The-_ _Kan movie!!!_ Misaki screamed internally, hoping that his face wouldn’t betray him. “Yes! W-Will do!” he practically shouted, making Shizukuishi narrow his eyes. “I’ll have it ready right away!”

“Very well. I’m counting on you,” he replied, turning his back on Misaki and opening a document with character design.

 _Oh my god, the light green hair and violet eyes…! That’s totally Midori Panchan, The-_ _Kan’s newest sidekick! And that’s Sake Toro, the old assistant and central character of the Croissant Moon Arc!_ Misaki’s eyes raced over the images, trying to take them in. _But wait, who’s that guy? Could it be??? … Holy crap, yes! If Panchan is also wearing green… They’ll be expanding the backstory of the Shiizun!_

“I can feel your heavy breathing, you know,” Shizukuishi remarked monotonously.

“Ah hahahaha, so sorry!” Misaki went red in the face. “It’s just---!”

Shizukuishi sighed and rolled his chair aside. “Alright, take five minutes to take a look.”

“Eh? Seriously?!”

“Yeah.  Just… no photos or screenshots or nothing that could be considered a leak.”

“Shizukui-saaan, you’re the beeest!” Misaki babbled, moved to tears.

* * *

“Shizukui-san didn’t tell me not to speak about it this time, so it’s not like I’m doing something wrong, but… Gaaah, I _must_ tell him!” Misaki said to himself as his thumb searched for Toudou’s number. All day long he’d thought about what he’d seen, and even though he hadn’t taken a picture, he’d engraved the images in his mind, hoping to share the info with the only person in the world that would understand him. “Toudou!!!” he yelled when his friend picked up.

“What’s going on, Takahashi?” he was whispering. “I thought we’d be meeting next week.”

“Yes, yes! We’re still meeting, but I just had to tell you---”

“Can it wait for a bit? I’m still at work.”

“Sorry for interrupting, but it’s just two words.” Misaki looked around and lowered his voice. “ _Croissant Moon_ …”

“HOLY CRAP!” Toudou’s scream startled the people around Misaki. “Is it happening?! How soon? What else do you know? Wait, maybe you shouldn’t be telling me this---”

“I’ve just seen the chara-design, so I can tell you a bit about---”

“---I mean you shouldn't speak about this on the phone, but you should absolutely tell me all about it in person! We can meet in an hour or so.”

“Oh, I don’t wanna bother you, since we’re meeting next Monday anyway,” Misaki chuckled. “It’s just I had to share the news with someone, but we can wa---”

“Takahashi, don’t you _dare!_ Boss!” Toudou shouted. “I’m leaving now; I’ll make it up to you with a double shift next weekend! Takahashi, meet me at the Bear’s Café of Ikebukuro in one hour.”

* * *

“So you’re _sure_ about that? In one of the designs she’s wearing the green catsuit? Then, do you think---?”

Misaki nodded enthusiastically. “I definitely think so! If you put that together with the other four characters in black, white, red, and yellow…”

“Maaan, they’re really developing the Shiizun storyline! Takahashiiii!” Toudou squealed as he squeezed and shook Misaki’s hands. “We’re finally getting an answer to the theory we’ve been having since chapter 178! But wait, doesn’t this mean that Panchan might betray The Kan?”

“How can you speak that way of our goddess Panchan?!”

“I knooow, I’m sorry!” Toudou hid his face in his hands. “But if the Shiizun actually _are_ her family…”

Misaki slurped his iced maccha latte pensively and sighed. “I really hope she won’t leave The Kan, even if that means that Toro might be back. Family’s important, but her relationship with The Kan is just beginning. They’ve been through so many things together, like the Evolution/Devolution Arc---”

“---and the Poison Wave one---”

“Ah, that concert scene still makes me wish The Kan hadn’t interrupted her!”

“Ugh, she was totally going to confess!” Toudou wolfed down the rest of his berry muffin and said, “You know at first I didn’t see her as anything more than fan service, and I’m certainly not into shoujo stuff, but now I can’t imagine _The-_ _Kan_ without her. She brings out the best in The Kan. Oh hey, have you asked Ijuuin-sensei about her?”

“Eh?” Misaki blinked. “Why would I?”

“Well, you have access to him all the time, don’t you? Perhaps he met a girl and she’s the inspiration behind our goddess. Can you imagine? A real-life Midori Panchan, aaah!” he sighed, starry-eyed.

“Somehow, I doubt that…” Misaki muttered.

Toudou ruffled his own hair. “Maaan, I can’t wait for it to be out! I know you said they didn’t tell you, but didn’t you see something about the date of release? Next year for sure, right?”

“The way the schedule is going, I’d say next spring.”

“We’ll be proper adults by then,” Toudou sighed, resting his head on his hand. “But you have to promise we’ll see it together! Even if we work full time, or even if we have to leave our girlfriends alone for the night!”

“It would be great if the Marukawa employees got free tickets to the opening night…” Misaki mused.

Toudou toyed with the straw as he watched Misaki. “So how’s Usami-sensei?”

“Hmm? Ah, he’s doing fine, thanks for asking! Taking a short vacation now. He hadn’t had some time off for months, but since the last novel did so well, he’s in between re-editions.” Misaki chuckled lightly and lowered his voice. “In fact, there’s this author he’s always admired who changed little things here and there every time he revised the text before a republishing, so he’s doing that. Ah, but he’s already prepared the changes he wants to make, so that it won’t be a bother when he’s pressed for time.” He left his glass on the table and gently wrapped his hands around it. “He’s smart, Usagi-san…”

“ _Usagi_ -san?”

“Eh?”

“You called him ‘Usagi-san’ just now,” Toudou said with a smile. “It’s almost cute.”

“Ah, well… My brother’s always called him Usagi and it sort of got stuck, haha.”

“Why?”

“Eh? Ah… I’m… not sure.” Why was it that had led Takahiro to know him as Usagi? Nobody else called him like that, as far as Misaki knew. Was that one of the things that bound Usagi-san to his brother? A permanent memento of their bond, something that had been formed between them long before Misaki had gotten into his life.

“Woah, that’s a scary face, Takahashi!”

“Eh? Is it?” Misaki rubbed his furrowed brow and pinched his cheeks. “Sorry, I was thinking… To be honest, I don’t know what I was thinking, haha. Maybe I’m still a bit under the weather---” He was surprised to feel Toudou’s hand tousling his hair and patting him kindly. “What’s that for?”

“Aaaah, because Serious Takahashi-kun is such an odd sight to seeee,” he replied pouting and frowning. “But your hair is so fluffy that it’s almost inviting. I’m surprised to see no birds nesting there.”

“You’re being ridiculous, and you’re starting to sound like Usagi-san,” Misaki laughed.

Toudou’s lips curved into a smile. “I know I’ve said this before, but I’m really glad we became friends, Takahashi. You’re one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, and you deserve all the happiness in the world.” He wrapped his scarf around his neck dramatically and struck The Kan’s distinctive pose. “I promise I will do whatever it takes to protect your smile!”

“Eh? What’s that supposed to mean? Is it my birthday? So embarrassing!” Misaki hid his blushing face in his hands, but Toudou pulled them apart and grinned.

“I’ll support you in your pursuit of happiness! So that’s why you should work hard to get what you want!”

 _Eh? What was that? Does Toudou know…?_ Misaki’s mind raced as his friend’s words slowly sank in. It was possible that Toudou had realized how he felt about Usagi-san. He wasn’t as sharp as Sumi-senpai, but those words of his just now… Should he tell him properly, then? But what if he was wrong? Misaki didn’t feel that Toudou would reject him. Perhaps he was being overly sensitive because his mind was set of Saturday and Takahiro. Usagi-san had always been frank about the two of them, and yet many more people had known about them because of Misaki and his expressions. Whatever it was that words couldn’t convey, it was evidently shown in his face. Was that the reason why Usagi-san was always watching him when they…? He felt his cheeks were on fire. “Toudou, I… What kind of face was I making just now?”

“Well, now you look a bit embarrassed. But if you ask about the face you make when you talk about Usami-sensei… Oh, even your neck is red now!” He finished his drink. “Hmmm… I think it looks like longing. Like, you’re happy to be with me, doing something you like, but part of you wants to go back home. Ah, but I bet that Usami-sensei’s place would feel like home, after all these years!” His phone buzzed with an incoming message. “Ah, crap! I forgot I had to pick up a present from a store close to my workplace!” He stood up and took his jacket. “Sorry to cut this short, Takahashi!”

“It’s okay!” Misaki reassured him, “Ah, if I get to know anything else before Monday, I’ll text you!”

“I’m counting on you!” Toudou grinned and waved as he rushed out of the café.

* * *

*** * ***

“USAGIIIIIIIII!”

There was a vicious storm at sea and their boat had capsized. Misaki had just woken up ashore, but Usagi… There was no sign of him. What had happened? This was more dangerous than he’d thought. He wiped the water off his face and tried to make out the silhouette of his companion.

“Misaki!”

As he turned, Misaki saw Usagi running along the beach. His green, form-fitting body suit had lost the shoulder plate, but he looked unharmed. He was carrying something in his arms. “Where were you?” Misaki panted as he ran to him. “I thought that you---! Oh, could that be buckthorn? And… sea holly! Way to go, Usagi-chan!”

“I thought you’d need some of these to get information.” Usagi’s voice was cool and collected. Misaki stole a glance at his assistant, feeling incredibly relieved to see him safe and by his side. “We lost all our equipment, but we could wait till tomorrow and use solar energy to---”

“If we wait any longer, it might be too late. Todo could be in danger…” Misaki pondered for a while as he tried to regain his breath. “We’re going to have to use The Pit…”

Usagi sighed. “If you’re determined to do it, then let me assist you. You shouldn’t carry the burden on your own. Last time you ended up using too much energy.” He put on his spectacles and raised his arms. Misaki would never get used to the way his fingers drew energy that he’d use to create symbols of power that stirred him and boosted him up. _“It seems to me you need him more than he needs you,”_ Todo had said the last time they’d seen each other. _“But I’m glad. I’m glad you won’t be alone.”_

Todo. He’d disappeared without a trace right after Blue Bay had been attacked by a mysterious group. He was the reason why they were there. Misaki watched him bring forward his words of power to conjure the mystical fire that would let them find out Todo’s location. He knew that Usagi still had reservations – he’d openly opposed to Misaki traveling on his own. Misaki just couldn’t bring himself to admit openly that Usagi’s instincts were oftentimes eerily accurate.

“Misaki,” Usagi called gently. “It’s time.”

He took a deep breath and slipped his fingers into his jacket. Ah, the unnaturally cold feel of his tools on his fingertips. To others, they were ordinary utensils, but in his hands, with his speed, accuracy, and the supernatural flow that poured out of him when he was in the zone, those same tools became weapons. “Primal Emblem:  Fire! _Flambé Mémoire!_ ” he shouted. Usagi’s conjured symbols were violently drawn to him, in a vortex that engulfed both of them. _It’s a dangerous game,_ he thought, _but then again…_ His hands moved faster, trying to keep up with the thoughts in his head. His breath was arrested, his senses invaded by the rich smell of sea holly and buckthorn consumed by the fire, earthy and intense – a sultry atmosphere that set in to the point of being almost overpowering, were it not for those violet eyes that watched him from the other side of the flames. Usagi’s eyes didn’t let him lose himself, and once the visions had disappeared and Misaki’s exhausted body fell forward, he wasn’t surprised to find Usagi’s arms around him.

“Are you okay?” Usagi asked, a hint of urgency in his voice.

“ _Shiizun_ …” Misaki murmured as he leaned against his partner. “I couldn’t see Todo, but they… The Shiizun are behind this, and yet… I’m not sure… There are shadows, and I can’t… I can’t see beyond that…” He saw Usagi looking down, his jaw clenched with something that resembled fury. He cupped his face in his hands and gazed into his eyes. “You shouldn’t come. They’ve already targeted you several times. That’s how I met you, remember…? You’d barely managed to run away from them… What if they don’t want to hurt you, but instead they want you back?”

“I won’t betray you, if that’s what you---”

“You’re wrong.” Misaki’s thumb traced the border of Usagi’s lips. “I know you’d never do that. But they know your weaknesses, and I want to protect you.”

Usagi kissed Misaki’s palm and slid his hand around his waist. “Then you should be the one to stay behind. _You_ are my---”

The roar of thunder startled them, and they ran to the base of the cliff to take refuge. As they entered one of the passages in the Forgotten Caves, Usagi’s voice became muffled. Misaki had a vague idea of what he was trying to say, but his mind kept wondering toward Todo and the Shiizun. Usagi had never liked talking about them, and all that Misaki knew was that… That… What _did_ he know? His knowledge of the group was confusing, as if someone was slowly erasing all the information he’d been collecting throughout the years.

“We’re here,” Usagi said, standing at the edge of the cavern. Misaki looked down and went pale.

“We’ll be caught before we can get close to the main building,” he muttered. “Seriously, is this Japan? Are there really bears and other things down there?”

“What are you talking about?” Usagi hissed. “Did you hit your head in the last corridor?”

They descended stealthily, hoping that they could find a blind spot. Usagi signaled him to wait as he skulked towards an old tree. There was a secret opening which they used to enter the domain of the Shiizun undetected.

“It’s good to see that Hiroki has kept that switch functional after all these years,” Usagi smiled. “This was our secret place.”

 _Hiroki._ Misaki squinted. That man? He’d asked Usagi about it, but there was no way someone would risk coming to such a dangerous place for a childhood friend… But then again, he was there to get Todo. _This is what friends do, I guess,_ he thought. “Usagi, where---?” A beam of blinding light locked on them, and Misaki felt Usagi’s body shielding him.

The soft rustling of silk on the grass, and that slightly annoyed voice… “Misaki’s right behind you, isn’t he, _Nii-sama?”_ Kaoruko smirked. She turned on a switch and suddenly they were standing in an underground room. “Misaki, how come I’m the only woman in your life and still I’m not your faithful assistant Midori Panchan?”

Usagi hugged Misaki from behind and stuck out his tongue at his cousin. “Because Misaki trusts _me_ to be by his side at all times. Besides, you don’t look good in green.”

“Nobody does,” Kaoruko grunted. She turned to Misaki and beamed. “Long time no see.”

“How have you been doing, Kaoruko-san?” Misaki bowed. “Are you finally good enough to beat me at baking?”

Kaoruko waved one of the long sleeves of her red kimono and hit Misaki on the face. “What an impudent child. Of course I’m good enough for you, Misaki!”

“That’s not what he meant, stop hearing what you want to---!” Usagi cocked his head. “Someone’s coming!”

The door opened and Mizuki walked in, dressed in a white uniform. His shoulders look broader and his legs longer, which made Misaki feel self-conscious. “I thought I smelled Takahashi,” he sneered. He turned and cast a much friendlier look at Usagi. “Nii-san, long time no see. Have you made up your mind? Are you back to stay?”

“Haha,” Usagi laughed without glee. His eyes went from one cousin to the other. “We’re here to look for his friend, the one who went to Fukuoka with him.”

“Fukuoka?” Kaoruko wondered. “Ah, could it be Ijuuin-sensei?”

Usagi glared at Misaki. “Do I even have to hear that name in this situation?”

Misaki chuckled nervously. “Ah, haha! The things you say, Kaoruko-san! No, no. _Todo._ My---”

“---former assistant, right?” Mizuki said, polishing an apple and giving it a bite.

Kaoruko raised an eyebrow. “Where did you get that?”

“Misacchin dropped it.”

“Who’s Misacchin? You should address him properly – it’s ‘Takahashi-kun’ to you. And seriously, how can you eat stuff from the floor? What manners did you pick up in America? If it’s Misaki’s, though…” She snatched the fruit from his hands and gave it a little kiss.

“You…” Usagi turned to Misaki, eyebrows twitching menacingly. “Why were you carrying such a thing? Is it a habit of yours to go around tempting people?”

“Eh? But… It’s just an apple, and I don’t even know how it got there! Ah!” Misaki waved his hands. “Time out!” he shouted. The concrete walls had turned into richly decorated panels, and he was now sitting on a European-style sofa. “As I said, I came here looking for Todo!”

“ _That man_ probably knows something about his disappearance,” Usagi said.

Kaoruko and Mizuki glanced at each other. The young man cleared his throat. “Actually, we’re in a bit of a pinch ourselves. You see… Haruhiko has vanished.” He folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the wall. “Uncle Fuyuhiko had planned to announce the succession plan with Haruhiko as the new leader. He has pretty much given up on you, Nii-san.”

“There was an argument a few weeks ago, but Uncle Fuyuhiko seemed to have finally obtained Haruhiko’s consentment,” Kaoruko explained, “as well as the rest of the clan’s. Haruhiko’s condition was to be allowed to leave the island for the last time before devoting his life to the Shiizun, but we lost track of him in Blue Bay. Some of the people he’d taken along were found unconscious, unable to explain what had happened.”

“Blue Bay…” Misaki murmured.

“Isn’t that where Todo comes from?” Usagi asked. He turned to Mizuki. “Is Father looking for him?”

“You bet. I haven’t seen it myself because I’ve just come back from my annual pilgrimage, but Kaoruko says Uncle Fuyuhiko hired a mercenary to track him down. It doesn’t seem to be a kidnapping, since no demands were made. And I don’t think he’s the type to run away.”

“Unlike others,” Kaoruko remarked, arching her eyebrows at Usagi.

“Aren’t you using too much salt?” Usagi fired back.

“Well…” a deep voice joined them from the threshold, “Kaoruko-chan has always had a fiery spirit. She would have made a great daughter-in-law.” Fuyuhiko grinned. His rich black kimono marked him as the head of the clan. “How are you, Takahashi-kun? Are you here to give my son back?”

Usagi was rising from his seat when Misaki raised his hand to stop him. “Usagi does not wish to return.”

“Tch. How dull,” Fuyuhiko rolled his eyes.

“I’m not here because of you.” Misaki stood up and stared into the old man’s dark eyes. “What did you do with Todo? My vision led me to this place, and I can sense the traces his presence left behind.”

“I hired him to track down my son.”

“Don’t screw with me!” Misaki smirked. “After what your clan did to Blue Bay two years ago, there’s no way he’d work for someone like you. Nothing you can offer---”

“Well, apparently there was something. You should pay heed to that young man’s words.” Fuyuhiko glanced at his fingernails with a bored expression on his face. “He’s rather wise.”

“Where is he, then?” Misaki urged him. “Where’s Todo?”

Fuyuhiko sighed. “Unfortunately, since he failed to report his progress, I assume he’s either decided to give up on this mission or he was taken along with my son. In any case…” He stopped, his eyes growing larger. “Look out!” The shattered glass hit them from behind. Usagi covered Misaki’s back and Mizuki stood before Kaoruko while Fuyuhiko raised his hand and cast a protective shield around them. “They’re here…” he grunted, watching the shadows grow and materialize before them. “Hah… I knew it. After all this time…”

“We have to keep an eye on Nii-sama.” Kaoruko’s voice felt like the calm before the storm. “I’ll be in your care,” she said to Mizuki, who pressed his palms together and began producing a string of symbols that surrounded her. Kaoruko drew a pair of sharp blades from the sleeves of her kimono. “I won’t forgive you if you hesitate, Misaki!”

A purple haze twirled around Misaki. He knew this heat. He cast a sideways look at Usagi. His fierce expression left him exposed. Such a shameless man, provoking him like that… “Primal emblem: Water!” Misaki shouted, arms outstretched and hands raised above his head. “ _Ardent Sous-vide!_ ” A cloud of steam rose from the floor, and paired with Fuyuhiko’s glass-like shield, trapped and consumed the shadows one by one. Those that escaped him had to face Kaoruko and Mizuki’s sharp combo, as their blades cut through their enemies without giving them time to regenerate.

“There’s something else coming this way!” Fuyuhiko alerted them, as he turned to Usagi.

The wall disappeared before their eyes in a vortex of darkness, something unknown that tugged at them. Black hands seized Usagi’s arms and dragged him along with them. Misaki’s scream pierced through them as he ran and clung to Usagi’s back.

“Let go!” Usagi shouted. “You’ll be---!”

“I won’t let go!” Misaki yelled, squeezing him tighter. “I will not leave you!”

The shadows choked them, filling their ears with endless screeching that grew stronger as they moved, until they landed on rocky ground. Desperately gasping for air, Usagi and Misaki reached for each other.

“Are you alright?” Misaki panted as his fingers touched Usagi’s cold cheek. Usagi’s only answer was to wrap his arms around him. “Ow… My back hurts…” He chuckled. “Ah, but that means we’re still alive… For the moment. That’s good.”

Usagi smirked. “Seriously, I really can’t tell if you’re a positive or a negative thinker. But… where are we? Another cave?”

“I think…” Misaki began to say, but something shiny caught his eye. He crawled to the edge of the ledge and looked down. There seemed to be a slow stream running below, and occasionally, bolts of blue would pop up, as if they were scouting the area. “Could it be…?” He hastily took his spice case from his inner pocket and pulled out one of the thinnest tubes. He took a pinch of an opaque substance and sprinkled it gently. Soon after, several light-filled blue blobs floated up to them. Misaki stretched his hand and something that looked like a bubble of electricity landed carefully on him.

“They’re Todo’s, aren’t they?” Usagi asked, obviously trying to hide the fascination in his voice. “He’s looking for a way out.” He stood up. “We should follow them, before the shadows return.”

Hand in hand, they climbed down and made their way through dark passages. Misaki’s hand felt hot and humid, even though Usagi’s fingers were cold as usual. “I think I see something ahead,” Misaki murmured, hastening forward. “A construction… We’ll have to be careful, it could be a trap.”

“I’d be surprised if it weren’t,” Usagi remarked. He squinted behind his spectacles. “Looks like a gilded cage, but there are no guards around, and…” His brow furrowed. “They’re inside. Both of them.”

“Todo and Haruhiko?” Misaki drew his multipronged fork from his apron. “Keep your eyes peeled. I’ll get them out of there.”

They covered the distance swiftly. Todo raised his head as one of the little blue blobs floated up to him. “Misaki! You shouldn’t have come, they will be here soon!” He looked past Misaki and shook his head. “And you’ve brought Usagi-san with you. This is exactly what they wanted, I’m afraid…”

“If you’re talking about the Shiizun, they already know we’re here,” Misaki grunted as he picked the lock. “I was told you were working for them?”

“Only because I had my suspicions,” Todo replied. He walked to the darkest part of the cage and brought Haruhiko with him. “He’s badly hurt. I tried to heal him, but there’s a wound that won’t---” He was interrupted by Haruhiko’s groan. “Come on, Haruhiko-san, endure just a bit longer… Misaki and Usagi-san are here…”

Haruhiko’s eyes shot up and locked on Usagi’s face. “You… Hah... You magnificent idiot… This is all your fault, because of your rejection. If now you’re here…” he muttered bitterly, “then what was the point, all this time?”

“I will never return to be an heir,” Usagi said calmly. “Misaki is my family.”

Haruhiko laughed. “So what? I’m supposed to pay your dues to that family? Never being able to do what I want or be with the one I love?”

“That has always been your choice. Who banned you from the life you wanted? You and your unfounded jealousy…” Usagi sighed. “This is not the right place or time.”

“As always, you’re the one that dictates the when and where. You’ve always led an easy life---”

“That’s not true!” Misaki shouted. “Every decision he’s ever made… He’s always lost something for them! That’s why…” He looked at Todo. “We share our days and nights. We’re building a life together, he and I. Because together… We’re infinitely richer, and better, and happier.”  He smiled. “I can’t imagine us apart. I don’t want to. That’s why we’ve made our choice, come what may.”

“It won’t be easy,” Todo replied.

“Is it ever easy, for anyone?” Misaki wondered.

Todo smiled. “I’ll stand by you, if that’s your decision.”

“We all will,” said Kaoruko. She, Mizuki, and Fuyuhiko approached them from the passage. "That's---"

The low, distant screeching that drowned her words told them they had been found. Fuyuhiko passed Haruhiko’s arm around his shoulders and helped him up. “You should get out of here,” he said to Misaki without giving him a glance. There was something that resembled fear in his eyes, and Misaki wondered what could possibly scare that man. “I failed to protect Haruhiko, but Akihiko… There is nothing I can do for him. _You_ will have to help him, Takahashi-kun…”

The ground beneath them shook as the shadows grew closer. Todo stood before the party. “It was never Haruhiko-san that they wanted, Misaki! You have to take him away from here!”

_Not Haruhiko? Then…_

He turned around.

_Usagi-san?_

*** * ***

* * *

Misaki stared at the familiar ceiling, listening to Akihiko’s regular breathing. As the dream slipped away, he tried to grasp the lingering feeling. Not much remained other than the thought of holding on to the man lying beside him. He sat up on one arm and observed Akihiko’s face. His long eyelashes, his attractive features… That man was so bright, and he could have anything he wanted.

And he wanted him.

Akihiko wanted _him._

 _Ah, crap…_ He felt the blood rushing through his veins. That man was incredibly dear to him. The mix of affection and desire overwhelmed him, and he leaned over. _I really do love you,_ he thought, as he smiled and brushed his lips against Akihiko’s.

 **\-----**  

                                                        

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time the dream was so long! I guess it's to balance the previous chapter, with those short dreams.


	6. Thursday Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW thanks to Misaki. Surprise!

“Oh?” Misaki sneered. “Do you think you can handle it, Great Author Usami-sensei?”

Akihiko leaned back and with his low, confident voice, invited him. “Why don’t you try me?”

 _This bastard…_ “Very well. After the Shiizun destroy The Kan’s temporary base in Blue Bay, what does Sake Toro retrieve from the debris?”

“Oh, you’re playing dirty, Takahashi-kun,” Akihiko smirked. “Because it’s not Toro the one that does the search, but Midori.”

“I’m afraid you’re wrong.” Misaki’s eyes were glinting. “As it was shown in the extra panels of the _Japun_ issue of January, the shadow projected on the stone wall was revealed to be Toro’s.”

Akihiko grumbled and reached out for his cigarettes. “As I said, that’s playing dirty. You know I only read the volumes.” He took a long, deep drag and once again leaned against the back of the couch. “I guess there’s no beating you fans. I wonder if someone looks forward to my stories the way you do with that manga.”

Misaki patted Akihiko’s head awkwardly. “Are you kidding? You are a best-seller! There are plenty of people eager to read your stories. Lots of people will definitely buy all the editions of your latest book, I’m sure of it!” How could he doubt his talent like that? Hadn’t he seen his fans? He recalled the times Akihiko had been surrounded by all those heavily-perfumed, dressed-to-impress women and something stirred within him.

“Hiroki,” he said with an oddly warm smile.

“Eh? Kamijou-sensei?” _Ah, true._ They’d been childhood friends, and they were still close, though Misaki couldn’t tell how close they were because Usagi-san still refused to speak about him. Was their relationship like the one he had with his brother? _Wait, does that mean…?_ Was that the reason why he usually refused to talk about Kamijou-sensei? He watched as Akihiko smoked slowly, exhaling a thin, sweet-smelling thread to which he had already grown accustomed. The faint scent of his favorite tobacco was something he almost looked forward to every evening when he got back home.

“I think I might go pay him a visit after all.” Akihiko stood up and looked for his cell phone. “If he says yes, then I’ll have dinner with him. I’m sure he’s busy around this part of the term. I’ll let you know, Misaki.”

 _Hiroki_ … Misaki had a vague recollection of the last dream he’d had, and that name in Usagi-san’s lips sounded…  kind? But he could barely imagine his demon professor being caring, and yet, the things he’d said to him when they’d met at Kuma Park… _I guess they are really good friends after all, just that,_ Misaki thought. _I wonder if Niichan knows about Kamijou-sensei…_

He left Akihiko’s lunch in the fridge and looked at the time. “I’m off to work!” he announced. Akihiko barely raised his eyes from the phone screen and waved to him.

_Oi. Pay a little more attention to me._

Misaki took his bag and coat and left the apartment, feeling a bit unsettled. He let out a loud yawn. The dream from the night before had left him exhausted. He still felt a little weak after that sudden fever, and long dreams usually made him feel as if his brain had been way more active than usual. He imagined Usagi saying, _“But Misaki, it’s good for you to use your brain once in a while,”_ and he groaned mentally.

He reminded himself to get green peppers on the way back home.

* * *

“Please hold the door?” a deep voice asked. Misaki jabbed the open-door button and nodded as a good-looking man got in. He was on the phone. Misaki watched him discreetly: tall, handsome, with an air of competence that reminded him of Kirishima-san. _Marukawa certainly employs successful people. I’m just super lucky to be here, aren’t I,_ he thought somewhat bitterly.

“… I would like to,” the man was saying, “but I’m still getting used to the new position, so I won’t be able to relax for a while. You know how it is. Another time, then.”

The elevator doors opened on the editors’ floor and the man nodded to let Misaki go out first. Misaki rushed out nervously and failed to see the person standing outside.

“Sorry!” he exclaimed flustered as they bumped shoulders.

“No, it’s okay, it was my fault… Ah, it’s you!” The kind-looking editor he’d recently met smiled at him. “Isaka-san introduced us the other day. Sorry, but I cannot recall your name.”

“Ta-Takahashi! Onodera-san, right? Good work!”

“Good work,” Onodera smiled. His face, however, turned a little harsher when he noticed the man standing behind Misaki. “Takano-san, the people of Ruby and Sapphire have been waiting for you. There appears to be some conflict between three authors, and one of them is the one you’ve been recently assigned to…”

“Hmmm…” Takano-san mused. His eyes turned to Misaki, as if he was wondering why he was still standing there.

“Ah, excuse me!” Misaki bowed as he turned around and walked away. _How embarrassing!_ That guy was an editor too, and _three_ departments needed his assistance. A big shot, for sure. He felt their footsteps behind him, as well as their hushed voices.

“I’ll forward you the reservation code for tonight, in case I don’t make it on time,” Takano’s deep voice said. “But you can wait for me at the bar.”

“Understood. Have a nice day,” Onodera replied naturally before parting ways.

That guy… He had said he’d be busy when he’d rejected that invitation on the phone. He’d just been lying after all, hadn’t he? Misaki’s stomach churned. Why couldn’t people just be honest? Everyone always had to save face, one way or another.

 _What about you?_ A voice said within him. _Have you been honest these past four years?_

Shaking his head, Misaki put on a smile on his face and entered the office.

* * *

His phone rang just after he’d touched the Suica card to the ticket gate. “Usagi-san,” he greeted, “I’m on my way home.”

“Good work today. I just wanted to let you know I’ll be staying out drinking with Hiroki. Don’t wait up.”

“Eh?” He felt his hand squeezing the phone. “But if you’re going to drink, then you might need some help when you come back. You’re not great at drinking socially. I’ll stay up and---”

“If I drink too much, I’ll just stay over at Hiroki’s, don’t worry. You’ve got a long day ahead tomorrow, right? Fridays are always hard for you.”

“Yes, but---”

“Don’t worry.” Usagi’s voice carried a hint of a smile that Misaki could clearly hear. “I know this whole week has been difficult to you, with me around the house – no need to deny it. So take the chance and relax, will you?” Since he got no immediate reply, he asked, “Misaki… Is everything okay?”

Misaki forced himself to steady his voice. “Yes. Perhaps I am a little tired after all.”

There was a brief pause. “Then hurry up, get home and rest. See you later.”

As he climbed down the steps to get to the platform, his head was in a daze. Why was he suddenly feeling lonely? Did it have to do with feeling that soon his world was going to change? In his heart, he wished his brother took things well, but there was something stirring within him, and all of a sudden the wait felt like a stone hanging from his neck. He wished Saturday would come faster, but he also dreaded the thought of it. Even if Akihiko had sworn he’d always be with him…

 _But he might not come home tonight,_ a little voice said to him.

“Ah, that's enough!” he groaned loudly, causing an old lady to shoot a glance at him. He murmured an apology and turned around, clinging to his bag and trying to clear his head.

He walked the blocks back home in silence. _Home._ It had felt that way for so long now, and it was so strange to think about the many things he’d seen once he’d entered Akihiko’s world. He’d received so much from him, and in turn… Had he given enough? Would he ever have a way to repay his kindness, his care? _If Usagi-san heard me,_ he thought, _he’d say that everything I do is enough, that he doesn’t need anything else_.

But Akihiko probably wouldn’t come home that night. He’d probably stay with Kamijou-sensei.

He opened the door of the fridge and looked at its contents apathetically. He decided that he wasn’t particularly hungry, so he just grabbed a can of juice and closed the door. He’d drunk half of it when he realized it was particularly bitter. He took a proper look at the can. “Peach-flavored beer?” Misaki sighed. “I shouldn’t have let him do the shopping on his own…” He finished the contents and walked to the bathroom.

He just couldn’t shake off the feeling of loneliness that had taken over him since he’d heard Usagi-san on the phone. He rinsed off the shampoo and the warm water ran down his back, recalling Akihiko’s low, deep voice in his ear, calling out his name. That man had invaded him over and over again, making sure that every corner of his body would remember his touch and his gaze, undressing him with caresses. Misaki let out a groan when he realized that he was getting hard. Washing the rest of his body was just frustrating now. He rested his forehead on the wall and felt his own breath on his skin.

“U-Usagi-san…” he said, as his right hand slid over his hips towards his bottom. He was just cleaning himself, he thought. He did it every time he took a shower, though it was the first time he did it this way. As he slipped a finger inside himself, he shut his eyes tight, embarrassed to hear his quiet whimpers. _How does he touch me?_ He bit his left arm when he began to move his finger in and out slowly. _So frustrating._ It didn’t feel right; it didn’t even feel close to the place Akihiko reached within him, but at the same time, just thinking about his long, eager fingers… “Usagi-san…” he called out, pressing his forehead against the cold wall, wrapping his soapy hand awkwardly around his shaft, stroking it. He hadn’t done that in a long time, since Akihiko was always enough, and if he wasn’t around…

If he wasn’t there, he felt no desire.

He opened his eyes, feeling self-conscious. “What am I doing?” he groaned, washing off his hands thoroughly, still throbbing. _Cold water._ Cold water would be enough, he thought, as he winced at the feel of chilly water coming out of the showerhead. He cleaned himself and got into the steamy bathtub, trying to relax. He rested his head on the rim and stretched his legs.

* * *

**. . .**

The formulas danced before his eyes, and every time he thought he was closer to get one of them, they would mockingly escape to another page. At this rate, he would never finish studying enough to get into Mitsuhashi.  “Usami-senseeei…” he groaned, turning around on his chair, “I think I need to take a little break…”

“Another one?” Akihiko’s purple eyes grew smaller. “Impossible. You’ve barely written anything today.”

“But I can’t, I really can’t!” Misaki moaned. “It’s not just today; whenever I start reading a problem, I suddenly become very interested in trying out a new recipe, or… Oooh, that’s it! I can use the radish for four different dishes! Usami-sensei, when winter comes, we’ll have a radish fea---!” He was hit on the face with a teddy bear. “Oi, you bastard!”

“Ah, and the formality has gone out of the door, I see. Such a brat.”

“Well, excuse me for being young, Usami-sensei!” Misaki yelled, but his expression changed quickly. “Oh! Now that I think about it, Niichan never calls you by your name. That’s why I never thought you’d be that important author…”

“Hah! Don’t tell me you knew my works. As if you’d ever stepped into a bookstore willingly,” Akihiko snickered.

“Hey! I’ll have you know that’s how I get my favorite manga!”

Akihiko closed his book and sighed as he cleaned his glasses. “Little children should not stick their noses into adults’ businesses, especially that which concerns Takahiro.”

It stung. Misaki already knew that what Akihiko felt for his brother wasn’t simple affection. There were years of love poured into that bottomless pit that was his love for Takahiro – a pit that led nowhere, but that it also had no end. Misaki loved his brother, but more than once he’d found himself wondering what Akihiko had seen in Takahiro to treasure him that much. Was it his looks? Takahiro was tall and dark and handsome, with broad shoulders and gentle eyes. Misaki bit his lips. His brother was a hard-working man, someone who deserved to go to university much more than he did. If only Misaki hadn’t been there… He felt the familiar lump of uncried tears lodging in his throat. Why had Takahiro been born first? Why had Akihiko fallen in love with him?

_Does it still bother you that much?_

The words made Misaki jolt. “Eh?”

Akihiko sighed. “You can call me Usagi if you wish.”

Misaki felt his cheeks a little hotter than usual. He swallowed hard and nodded timidly. “Yes, Usagi-san…” When he looked up, he saw Akihiko avert his eyes. “Ah, it’s just… I’m not my brother, so I don’t think I’ll be able to drop the honorific…” Aaah, that man… There were so many sides to him: top-of-class student, young master and heir, best-selling novelist, and---

“Childhood friend.”

Misaki raised his eyes as he heard Kamijou-sensei’s voice. He looked around. Kuma Park? Ah, that’s right – they were there to… take pictures for reference, or something of the kind. Misaki frowned. He felt like he was forgetting something important.

“Oi, I’m talking to you,” Kamijou-sensei grunted.

“I’m sorry!” Misaki bowed deeply.

Kamijou rubbed the back of his head. “So… What is he to you?”

“Eh?”

“Akihiko, Akihiko!” Kamijou said, a hint of impatience in his voice. “What’s your relationship with him?”

“Ah… Usagi-san’s my landlord,” Misaki blurted out, barely thinking. “He’s my brother’s…”

_Eh?_

Misaki noticed that Kamijou was watching him curiously. “He is your brother’s?”

Ah. That was it, right? That had always been an issue. But wasn’t _he_ the one loved by Usagi-san now? Wasn’t he the one who would be protected by Usagi-san when the time came? When the time came… What would he do? He would stand there, idle, and watch his brother and Usagi-san argue over him, right? Because he never did anything. He wouldn’t have to, right? Usagi-san would speak for him. He was smarter where Misaki was helpless. He---

 _“No,”_ his mouth said, but no sound came out.

“What’s that?” Kamijou folded his arms and cocked his head. “You have something to say? Or perhaps you have something you haven’t said.” He turned around and grabbed some papers from his desk. They were at university now, and the classroom was filled with faceless groups. “This paper is all wrong. I can’t tell whose voice I’m supposed to pay attention to. Is this yours, or does it belong to the people you got this from?”

“Mine,” Misaki murmured, wrapping his fingers around the strap of his bag. “I tried…”

“Did you?” Kamijou asked, walking towards the window. “Did you try hard enough?” He unbound the sheets of paper and held them out. “Is this the only thing you have?”

“Yes!” Misaki exclaimed, alarmed. “Please don’t throw---”

“Do you want it?” Kamijou shouted, his hair flowing in the wind. “Are you willing to take the plunge for this?”

“Yes!” Misaki shouted back.

Kamijou smiled and said something, but the wind took away his words and whatever he was holding in his hand. Misaki ran towards the window and looked below. There was something there, sinking in the pool. That was it. That was what he was looking for. He stepped on the window frame and jumped off, no room for doubt. The water welcomed him, warmer than he expected. As he dove deeper, the marimo and the goldfish seemed to glow, pointing to the thing he treasured the most.

“Usa---” he began to say, but as soon as he parted his lips, the warm water rushed in. He reached out and his hands found the cold, gentle hands he loved.

**. . .**

* * *

Akihiko’s hands grabbed him by the shoulders. “Misaki!” he shouted, patting his back as Misaki coughed. “What were you thinking?! I thought you sounded strange on the phone. If I hadn’t come back…!” His arms wrapped around Misaki’s trembling body, squeezing him tightly. “Please don’t scare me like that. Please, don’t be this reckless ever again…”

 _My heart,_ Misaki thought as he buried his face in the curve of Akihiko’s neck. _I can feel my heart and his, beating loudly… They’re beating for each other, aren’t they?_ He closed his eyes and didn’t complain when Akihiko helped him out of the bathtub and carried him to the bedroom, sitting him down on the edge of the bed.

“Wait here,” he commanded. He looked for a bath robe and wrapped it around Misaki’s cold body. “What were you thinking, really – falling asleep in the bathtub…” Akihiko grumbled as he knelt before him, his hands drying Misaki’s hair vigorously with a fluffy towel. “I thought my heart would stop when I knocked and you didn’t reply. I wished you would shout at me like you always do, but you didn’t say anything… How did this happen?” he sighed deeply.

Misaki felt his warm breath on his skin; sweet tobacco and a note of red wine that made him feel light-headed, and at the same time… He reached out and ran his fingers over Akihiko’s silky hair. Soft and warm, and his hands were cold but gentle, and there were sides of him that only Misaki knew. That man, that amazing man, was his. There was no doubt in his mind. Whether his brother had met him first didn’t matter. Whether there had been other people in his life before him didn’t matter. This Usagi-san was his. No, not Usagi. That wasn’t his name.

“Akihiko… san,” Misaki murmured.

Akihiko stopped and cocked his head. “What’s wrong, Misaki? Are you worried about…?”

Misaki tucked his hair behind his ear as he brought their faces together. _He came back. He came home, to me._ “Akihiko-san…” he repeated, as his lips touched his lover’s softly. He felt the hands he loved on his forehead.

“You’re not running a temperature,” Akihiko murmured.

Misaki shook his head and then kissed him again, this time parting his lips. His tongue caressed Akihiko’s upper lip, waiting, and he soon found his opening. He tilted his head as he deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue until it met his lover’s in a wet and hungry embrace. _Mine._ The word popped up in his mind, sending a shiver down his spine and exciting his innermost regions. _Us, together. Hurry. Hurry – I want to feel you inside me._ His fingers dug into Akihiko’s back possessively. _Fill me up. I’m yours._ He gasped as he felt Akihiko’s hands running down his sides.

“I’m cold,” he murmured, letting his robe slide down his arms.

“I’ll warm you up.” Akihiko’s low voice was like a soft grunt. He kissed down the curve of his neck as he slid his hand inside the robe, brushing his skin with the back of his hand. “Misaki…” he called with a tone filled with desire. “Misaki, what do you want from me?” His fingers trailed down to Misaki’s inner thighs, tracing invisible lines in places where he knew Misaki was sensitive. “Tell me, and I’ll do anything…”

After a brief moment, Misaki gently lifted Akihiko’s face by the chin and stared into his eyes.

“What is it?” Akihiko asked.

“You…” Misaki took a deep breath. “Do you… love me?”

Akihiko’s eyes reflected many things. He could tease him. He could laugh – after all, how many times had he conveyed his feelings? But somewhere in those serious eyes of his he could tell that he would take him seriously, that he would always be honest with him.

“I love you. I always will.”

Misaki threw his arms around him and held him tight. Ah, their hearts knew each other. There was no way back now, though he suspected that from the moment they had kissed and hugged each other on that empty street that cold night, there was only one fate for him. Akihiko had called it “destiny”, and it certainly felt like that. Another life, another path – anything else was simply unthinkable.

“Do what you want with me,” he murmured in Akihiko’s ear. “I’m yours.”

* * *

“Stop, stop, stop!” Misaki panted. His hand had stopped stroking himself and he tried to push Akihiko away.  “Don’t you _dare_ lick there…”

“Oh?” he smirked. “Can you afford to say that? It’s twitching, look…” He brushed his fingers around his hole, teasing him. “Besides, I know you cleaned yourself properly. You always do, every time you take a shower.” He kissed up Misaki’s thighs, soaking in his trembling.

Misaki yanked at Akihiko’s hair and made him look up. “If you lick that… I won’t kiss you ever again…” His lower lip trembled slightly and he bit it. “Does that mean you… don’t like kissing me?”

Akihiko stared at him, swallowing hard. He squinted when he finally said, “Very well. Then…” He brushed his fingertips over Misaki’s lips. “Lick them thoroughly.”

A rock and a hard place, huh… Misaki opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue. He closed his eyes as he anticipated those cold fingers, but to his surprise, they felt warm. He licked the length of them, nibbling on the tips, wrapping his tongue around them. He could close his eyes and pretend that he wasn’t enjoying it, but the slurping sounds still filled his ears and made his hand stroke his shaft again. Akihiko’s middle and index fingers pressed against his tongue, sliding in and out of his mouth, and when he tried to pull them out, Misaki’s lips pursed around them, sucking them back in.

Akihiko lay beside him and ran his fingers through his hair, teasing his earlobe with little flicks of his tongue that made Misaki gasp. “I thought you were never going to let them go,” Akihiko murmured as he slid his hand between Misaki’s legs and probed around. When he noticed Misaki raising his hips to meet him, he nuzzled his cheek.

Misaki shuddered when the fingers entered him and he turned to Akihiko, his lips parted and hungry for the kiss he always longed for. Their tongues caressed each other, feeling each other’s heat and wetness as if it were their own. As he felt close to finishing, Misaki’s free hand moved over Akihiko’s waist, undoing the button and zipper and sliding into his underwear. He was hard already, and that made him shiver.

“Misaki…” Akihiko growled between kisses. “Do you want me?”

Misaki could only nod for an answer, feeling lightheaded.

“I want you on top,” Akihiko said as he unbuttoned his shirt. “Can you do it?”

Misaki swallowed hard as he knelt on the bed and pulled down Akihiko’s pants. His face felt as if it were on fire as he took a proper look at his lover’s hips.

“Wait,” Akihiko said, reaching out. “I’ll get the lotion and---”

“No.”

Akihiko turned to him. “Don’t be stubborn. It’s not going to---”

It would be like jumping head first into a pool, right? Because down there, he’d find what he was looking for. Misaki bent down and parted his lips, taking the tip into his mouth. His tongue swirled around it. _Salty._ His fingers wrapped around the shaft, squeezing it gently as he sucked on the head the way Akihiko did to him every time. It was his turn to give, right? Because that was what a relationship was. That’s what they had, the two of them. Nobody else knew them like this.

He felt Akihiko’s hand caressing his hair and pushing him away gently, urging him to let go. “Ride me,” he commanded, and Misaki wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and sat astride him. “Go slowly,” Akihiko instructed. “Don’t force yourself.”

But even if it had always been like that, Misaki thought that he’d never really forced himself when he was with that man. In bed, things weren’t as clear between them as they thought they were. Every time he’d pleaded Akihiko to stop it hadn’t been out of pain or disgust. It was always him receiving pleasure, and it was his own inexperience and embarrassment that paralyzed him and made him give less than Akihiko deserved.

Not anymore.

“It’s okay,” Misaki said as he rested his hands on Akihiko’s legs and pressed their hips together. “Because it’s you. Only you---” His words came out strained as his body shook, pleasure and pain taking over. Akihiko’s hands grabbed him by the waist as he thrust into him. There was unusual want, almost need, in his lover’s movements, and the thought filled Misaki with something that felt a lot like glee.

“Does it… feel good, Akihiko-san?” he finally managed to say between moans. He was wondering how long he would last this time when he felt Akihiko tightening his grip and throwing his head back.

“Misaki… Move away… I’m---”

Misaki squeezed him even tighter. “It’s alright,” he said in a warm, breathy voice. “It’s okay… Do it…”

Hot, unbelievably hot, as if he was consumed from the inside. He’d never get used to the feeling, but it wasn’t something that he disliked. But more than anything, he let out a chuckle that he immediately hid behind his hand. “It’s the first time you finish before me, Usagi-san,” he said lightly-heartedly.

Akihiko laughed as he pulled him by the arm and made him rest against his chest. “What happened to you calling me Akihiko-san? Now we’re back to normal?”

Misaki looked up at him and shook his head. “Doesn’t matter what we call each other, does it? As long as…” He hesitated briefly.

“As long as you can call me yours,” Akihiko said, tousling his hair lovingly.

Misaki nodded in silence. He was starting to feel sluggish and he wondered if they could stay like that till the morning came. The stillness, however, was broken by Akihiko’s kiss on his forehead.

“Come on, let’s take a shower and then get to sleep.”

“I don’t mind…” Misaki started to protest, but Akihiko shut him up with another kiss.

“You will in the morning. Come on,” he said, sitting up and offering him his hand.

That hand would always be there to support him, to hold him – there was no room for doubt any longer. Misaki placed his slightly smaller hand within it and smiled at the sight of Akihiko’s fingers wrapping around it gently, and it occurred to him that their hands would never be empty again, as long as they had each other.

*** * * * * * * * * ***

** **

**Author's Note:**

> Any piece that contains a NSFW scene will be marked as such.


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